Best Arts Event/Festival

1st The Orlando International Fringe Theater Festival, orlandofringe.org
2nd Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival, wpsaf.org
3rd Nude Nite Art Exposé, nudenite.com

Best Art Night (Recurring)

1st Orlando Museum of Art 1st Thursday, omart.org
2nd Third Thursday Gallery Hop – Downtown Arts District
3rd Blank Space Art Market (now closed)

Best Arts Advocate

1st Donna Dowless, heartartist.com
2nd Parker Sketch, parkersketch.blogspot.com
3rd Terry Olson

Best Local Artist

1st Andrew Spear, spearlife.com
2nd Thomas Thorspecken, analogartistdigitalworld
3rd Karen Russell, thedaytimedoldrums.com

Best Local Author

1st Jeff Ashton, troumandwallsh.com/jeff-ashton.htm
2nd Liz Langley, liz-langley.blogspot.com
3rd Bob Morris, bobmorris.net

Best Local Poet/Spoken Word Artist

1st Tod Caviness, @wiggystarbucks
2nd Patrick Scott Barnes, stonecrazydj.wordpress.com
3rd Curtis Meyer, facebook.com/curtismeyerwinterpark

Best Local Playwright

1st Michael Wanzie, wanzie.com
2nd Tod Kimbro, todkimbro.com
3rd Nicole Antonia Carson

Best Gallery

1st CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-7060, http://www.orlandoslice.com/group/cityartsfactory
2nd Twelve21 Gallery, 1221-C N. Orange Ave., 407-982-4357, twelve21gallery.com
3rd Mother Falcon/The Falcon Bar, 819 E. Washington St., 407-423-3060, motherfalconclothing.com

Best Museum

1st Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-4231, omart.org
2nd Morse Museum, 445 North Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-5311, morsemuseum.org
3rd Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St., 407-514-2000, osc.org

Best Movie Theater

1st Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-629-0054, enzian.org
2nd Cobb Plaza, 155 S. Orange Ave., 407-982-5444
3rd Regal Winter Park Village, 510 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0035

Best Radio Station

1st WPRK 91.5 FM "The Voice of Rollins College," rollins.edu/wprk
2nd WTKS 104.1-FM "Real Radio," realradio.fm/main.html
3rd WXXL 106.7-FM "XL 106.7," xl1067.com/main.html

Best Dance Company

1st Orlando Ballet, orlandoballet.org
2nd Voci Dance, vocidance.org
3rd Yow Dance, yowdance.org

Best Theater Company

1st Mad Cow Theatre, 105 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-297-8788, madcowtheatre.com
2nd (tie): Orlando Shakespeare Theater, 812 E. Rollins St., 407-447-1700, orlandoshakes.org
2nd (tie): Skill Focus: Burlesque, skillfocusburlesque.com
3rd SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-0001, sak.com

Best Theater Space

1st Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St., 407-447-1700, orlandoshakes.org
2nd The Orlando Repertory Theatre, 1001 E. Princeton St., 407-896-7365, orlandorep.com
3rd Theater Downtown, 2113 N. Orange Ave., 407-841-0083, theatredowntown.net

Best Graffiti Wall

1st Drunken Monkey, 444 N. Bumby Ave., 407-893-4994, drunkenmonkeycoffee.com
2nd Black Chapel Tattoo, 693 N. Orange Ave., Suite 200, 407-420-9636, blackchapeltattoos.com
3rd Pho 88, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, pho88orlando.com

Best Mural

1st Whose Line Is It, Anyway?, Thomas Thorspecken, Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.
2nd Hideaway Mural, at Hideaway Bar, Andrew Spear, 516 Virginia Drive
3rd Elephant Mural, at Sam Flax, Andrew Spear, 1800 E. Colonial Drive

Best Public Art

1st Mills 50 utility boxes, various artists and locations, mills50.org/news/art-box-project/
2nd The SIT Project, Brendan O'Connor, various locations: thesitproject.com
3rd Light Waves, Christopher Janney, Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd., janneysound.com/urban-musical-instruments/light-waves-orlando

Best public art that doubles as a weapon

"Symphony," 1989, by Paul Marco
Mennello Museum of American Art
900 East Princeton Street
407-246-4278
mennellomuseum.com

If you've ever thought of an "ice knife" as the perfect murder weapon (it melts! No fingerprints!), then here's a treat for your sick little mind: a public art piece so close to the ground and so incredibly pointy that thoughts of pushing a frenemy onto it are unavoidable. The work is Paul Marco's 1989 sculpture "Symphony," and it's near an intersection of two busy sidewalks in the outdoor sculpture garden of the Mennello Museum of American Art. Visitors who can contain their murderous rage long enough to gaze upon its five protruding tips will notice its resemblance to a ninja throwing star. The sculpture, made of roughly welded steel, earns bonus points for being painted red … all the better for hiding bloodstains.

Best Revival of Live Storytelling

There Will Be Words
Second Tuesday of each month
Urban ReThink
625 E. Central Blvd.
therewillbewords.com

If you ever wonder what the expressive people around you generally think in private, each second Tuesday of the month, four handpicked writers take to the makeshift stage at Thornton Park's Urban ReThink to read you 10 minutes of their literate intimates, stories that are compiled for the event in cute little chapter books. An outgrowth of the burgeoning Burrow Press imprint, and hosted by writer and poet J. Bradley, There Will Be Words doesn't take itself too seriously – it once allowed Orlando Weekly's own Billy Manes to make an ass of himself with some college scribblings about anger – but it is just serious enough to allow you to feel like something smart can happen (in that soft-spoken NPR way) in Orlando. You just have to look for it.

Best self-critique

Contested Object
Cornell Fine Arts Museum
Rollins College, 1001 Holt Ave., Winter Park
407-646-2526
rollins.edu/cfam

As part of their fall 2011 season, CFAM presented an intriguing little exhibition that comprised much more than the sum of its parts. A cursory glance at the hallway display would reveal only a small bronze statue of a Japanese boy and a vitrine full of old letters and newspaper clippings, telling the story of how the bronze figure was donated to the college by an alum after World War II and later repatriated to Okinawa, from whence it came. In fact, Contested Object took on major issues of cultural dominion, the meaning of ownership and the changing tides of acceptable racism with bravery and unflinching self-examination. Kudos to Rollins anthropology student Cory Baden and art history professor Susan Libby for their rigorous research, to college president emerita Rita Bornstein for being willing to consider that the college may have done "wrong" in the past, and to curator Jonathan Walz and his staff for always nudging CFAM's offerings in challenging and modern directions.

Best chance to watch artists in action

Winter Park Paint Out
polasek.org/wppo

Each spring, a new crop of plein air painters pops up on street corners all over Winter Park. They capture the scenes around them in oils, pastels and watercolors for a week, and as they finish their works, they're hung in the Albin Polasek Museum gallery. All week long you can check back in at the Polasek as the gallery fills up with new paintings, all of which are available for purchase once the show is over.

Best showbiz buddy act

Fringe Festival's Michael Marinaccio and George Wallace
orlandofringe.org

Theater history is filled with famous teams: Comden & Green, Lerner & Loewe, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern. In 2012, the buddy buzz was all about the new duo directing our area's longest-running international theater festival. Orlando's own arts administration answer to Abbott & Costello – new Fringe Festival producer Michael Marinaccio and returning general manager George Wallace – turned out to be a terrific twosome in their first festival together. After receiving rave reviews for maximizing attendance while minimizing angst, we hope to see this double act treading the boards for seasons to come.

Best fringe festival multitasker

Sarah Lockard
orlandofringe.org

Performing in one Fringe production is exhausting enough, but each year a handful of hardy souls appear in multiple shows. Our nod for "hardest-working actress of Fringe 2012" goes to Sarah Lockard, who featured in three different shows – Skill Focus: Burlesque, Cannibal! The Musical and Connected: An Interactive Experience – at three separate venues. (And for bonus points, she showed her boobs in two out of the three!) Lockard appeared onstage in a total of 21 performances over 13 days, which is more shows than all but the hardest-core Fringers even attend.

Best I-Drive attraction upgrade

Titanic: The Experience
7324 International Drive
407-248-1166
titanictheexperience.com

Orlando's peripatetic Titanic exhibit has had nearly as fraught a history as its historic namesake, bouncing from the now-bulldozed Mercado to the Orlando Science Center before settling back on International Drive. Just in time for the original tragedy's 100th anniversary, the museum-style attraction received its best addition ever: dozens of authentic artifacts recovered from the shipwreck itself, including an impressive slab of its twisted steel hull. An auction of the exhibit owner's assets planned for April was put on hold, but you should try to see these fascinating fragments while they're still around.

Best bettering of Broadway without a budget

A Behanding in Spokane
Howlers Theater
Feb. 10-March 10, 2012

Usually, when a recent Broadway hit is staged by a local theater company, the best compliment we can give is something along the lines

of "They did a great job, considering we're in Orlando." A happy exception was Howlers Theater's no-holds-barred take on Martin McDonagh's crime comedy A Behanding in Spokane. On a shoebox-sized stage and with scarcely any set, director Jeremy Wood exceeded the impact of the well-financed New York production in nearly every respect, and his actors (Scott Browning, Jamie-Lyn Markos, Aaron Smalls, Tony Demil) put their overpaid movie-star counterparts to shame.

Best new theatrical home

VarieTease at Say It Loud!

1121 N. Mills Ave.
babybluestar.biz

Baby Blue Star's VarieTease, the burlesque-meets-circus blend that's blown audiences' minds beginning with the hit show Carnivale, is one of Orlando's hottest acts, but the troupe has long sought a permanent home base (Julio Lima's safety-orange Say It Loud studio was its most recent stop). But now we hear Blue's finally got a place of her own! VarieTease will be titillating audiences at the Venue, a deceptively woodsy-looking studio on Virginia Drive, starting this fall – another step toward making Ivanhoe Village an active arts destination.

Best quasi-Hollywood cameo

Orlando Weekly newsstand in Renee
facebook.com/reneethemovie

Local colleges, personalities and businesses alike came together last year for the making of Renee, the story of local nonprofit To Write Love On Her Arms. The movie starred 2 Broke Girls' Kat Dennings, but at the film's premiere on opening night of this year's Florida Film Festival, we were captivated by a far brighter star: us! Like all great cameos – Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction, Brad Pitt in Full Frontal – it was a blink-and-you-missed-it kind of greatness, but there we were, a shiny red box full of papers in an otherwise despairing, colorless world, proudly staking our cinematic claim with only a name: Orlando Woodley?!?! OK, so they didn't want us to sue them or something, but we're still SO ready for our close-up.

Best Kid-Art Camouflage

Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts
drphillipscenter.org

There's one cardinal rule in the fine arts: Whenever you're worried about your product, fill it up with the innocent expressions of children. That way you have a captive audience of glowing parents and the public relations appearance of being inclusive. As we all sit on our hands waiting to see just how this whole DPAC thing plays out (will it ever include the acoustic hall it was sold to the public upon?), the folks running the show have wisely – and predictably – wrapped the fence surrounding the construction site with child-drawn stick figures and words like "poetry" as a sort of glossing-over of the fact that, at least initially, the venue will basically be a touring hall for Broadway shows and Tom Jones concerts. Well, at least the kids can dream!

Best child's play for grown-ups

Orlando Puppet Festival
orlandopuppetfestival.com

For almost eight years, Ibex Puppetry (run by Heather Henson, daughter of Muppets creator Jim Henson), has pulled strings at its annual marionette affair. Last year's fest turned into a citywide puppet takeover, with a puppet art show downtown, musical puppet shows at Altamonte Mall's Pinocchio's Marionette Theater, the Handmade Puppet Dreams film series, adult-oriented content at Urban ReThink's Action Puppet Force slam and a Muppet Movie singalong with Henson herself.

Best shimmy shake-up

City's burlesque scene gets creative

Within the last year, a barrage of pasties and fishnets has given some of our favorite dimly lit nightspots a hefty dose of glittery pizzazz. A handful of scantily clad burlesque troupes work it in places like Taste, the Stardust Lounge and Bombshell's Tavern, and some, like Skill Focus: Burlesque, take it to new levels. We've seen those women decked out in elaborate costumes that appeal to a pretty wide variety of fan fetishes – superheroes, comic-book characters, pirates and even Star Trek characters.

Best world premiere

Satchmo at the Waldorf
satchmoatthewaldorf.com

Wall Street Journal theater critic Terry Teachout, scholar-in-residence at the Winter Park Institute at Rollins College, had long wanted to write a play about Louis Armstrong: about the disconnect between the private, complicated man and his grinning public image. Local theatrical éminences grises Rus Blackwell and Dennis Neal, both founding members of the Mad Cow Theatre company, had long wanted to collaborate on a one-man play. After a 45-minute staged reading, before which Teachout had no intention of producing the play in Orlando, Neal and Blackwell knew this was the play – and Teachout knew that he'd found the director and actor to bring his first play to life. The play has since been produced in New Haven, Conn., Lenox, Mass., and Martha's Vineyard, Mass., but it all started here.

Best local mirror

15 Views of Orlando, various authors

Burrow Press; 184 pages; $15
burrowpress.com

Sometimes artists have a tendency to focus on the bright-lights big cities, to get obsessed with what's happening in New York and Paris and Tokyo to the exclusion of their own backyards. But the best never forget their roots. With that in mind, local publisher and litblog Burrow Press commissioned 15 short stories about the city for their 15 Views of Orlando anthology; the end result is wonderfully strange, beautifully written, instantly familiar to residents and totally alien to any theme-park tourist or casual conventioneer.

When you work in a bar, being in a bar can get really old really fast – days blur together and sometimes you can't tell your Friday night from your three Saturdays before. So I'm thankful that there are some bars out there offering something out of the ordinary to help break up the weekly routine.

In honor of the fact that this is the Best of Orlando issue, in which we tell you what we think are the best and brightest things in the city, I figured I'd use this column to point you to some of the bar scene's best drinking gems.

Pickle back shots at Finnhenry's
39. N. Orange Ave., finnhenrys.com

Imagine a world in which shots of Jameson are chased with a dash of hot sauce and a heaping pour of pickle juice. It's almost too good to be true. Good thing it's not. Don't like whiskey? Try a Patrón pickle back instead. Some bars have Mountain Dew. Others serve Dr. Pepper. Finn's steps it up with an abundance of dill pickle juice, one shot at a time.

Pudding shots at Lizzy McCormack's
55 N. Orange Ave., lizzymccormacks.com

Oreo cookies, cookies-and-cream, M&M and funfetti are just four flavors of homemade pudding shots made daily by a magical Irish elf at Lizzy's. Served with a spoon and a dollop of whipped cream, these delicious little treats come strong and with a swift kick right to the bloodstream. 

Tuesdays at the Matador
56 E. Pine St., @matadororlando

Tuesday nights at Matador, the bartender prepares fresh-squeezed lemonade, homemade sour and simple syrups and other treats so you can have the perfect nightcap after a hard day at the office. If vodka, Tazo passion tea, homemade lemonade and two dashes of grapefruit bitters garnished with a plump organic blackberry doesn't suit your fancy, perhaps a rosemary gin fizz – rosemary-infused honey syrup, fresh lemon and gin, topped with soda water and fresh rosemary – will do instead. Did I mention a single, oversized square cube keeps your drink chilled? They're frozen special each Tuesday, just for you.

Microbrews, boutique wines and specialty empanadas at the Imperial Wine Bar and Beer Garden
1800 N. Orange Ave., imperialwinebar.com

One of my favorite food trucks is La Empanada, which parks outside the Imperial in Ivanhoe Village on Wednesday nights. When I can find fried pockets of sweet and savory goodness and enjoy an ice-cold Good JuJu at the same time, I just can't resist. Look for the chicken banh mi queso-romesco, and tomato, corn and goat cheese empanadas, in particular; they're the perfect complement to the Imperial's many microbrews.

Ladies Night at Bar-BQ-Barand Eye Spy
64 N. Orange Ave. and 54 N. Orange Ave.

Attention, gentlemen: Cheap drinks, good company and the best booty-shaking hip-hop bring all the girls to these two hot spots on Thursdays. The place is packed, but the bartenders are quick and the shots don't stop. There are even drink specials for the guys. I don't know too many places where you can get toasty for $15, but it could definitely happen at these two bars. (disclosure: I bartend at Eye Spy, so I'm not entirely impartial on this one.)

Sunday Picnic Party at Paradise
1300 N. Mills Ave., paradiseorlando.com

$1 Long Islands (huh?), vodka cocktails (excuse me?) and draft beers (those too?) are served by chiseled, shirtless men all day and night every Sunday at Paradise. If that's not enough, seven different shots are just $2 each, Diana Ross is blasting on the patio and the hot dogs are free. Sabretts! Need I say more?

What's your favorite bar night or drink special in town? Leave a comment at orlandoweekly.com.

British super-producer Alex Metric, who beat out the likes of Justice and Soulwax in 2009 when he was named XFM's remixer of the year, hits up Firestone Live this week, and if you're not already familiar with Metric's clutch skillset, one listen to his darkly adventurous official remix of Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" – released last year as the centerpiece single of the legendary group's 2011 album Remixes 2: 81-11 – may just convert you. OW spoke with Metric about the architecture of his "dangerous" sets and saying no to LMFAO.

Orlando Weekly: We know you have new songs in the can. When and in what form will we finally hear them?

Alex Metric: I'm excited to unleash them all! Maybe it's an album, maybe EPs or individual releases. The model of writing something and then sitting on it for months is dated. I find it frustrating to be in that cycle. As an artist you want to write something and move on. Somehow, challenging those release schedule issues would be great. I just haven't figured out an effective way to do that yet.
 
Electronic Dance Music has exploded recently. What are the upsides and downsides to the genre, in your opinion?

[EDM] is great in many ways, but not great in others. It's amazing to see the explosion and it's exciting as an artist, the possibilities of reaching so many new people. But as it's become a lot more ingrained in pop music, you get people who want to hear these pop-dance records and only those. They're not interested in hearing new stuff. Why would you want to go out and hear the same records you hear on the radio in one set? Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with playing a popular or big record if it's good and it fits, but when DJs play them all back-to-back in one set, it's pretty one-dimensional, and a lot of them are terrible, anyway. I hope that all these new fans of dance music will learn about other music within the scene and see there is a world beyond the pop-dance stuff – just open up to new things, really. I got into electronic music to hear new interesting sounds and to be surprised on the dance floor. I like sets where you don't know what's coming next or where it might go.

How would you answer a request for LMFAO?

I would make it very clear I don't play LMFAO.

Your music is designed to stand the test of time. How do you make sure that you do, too?

First and foremost, I am a musician. I make music to get emotions out, express something, create some art – to give something of me to the world. It just so happens that I work within electronic music. I think it's important that dance music isn't just throwaway DJ tools with no soul. I want my records to still be enjoyed in three years, not just last three months while DJs hammer them then they're forgotten about. I'd like to think I've achieved that with some of my remixes and singles. I am strict about what I let leave the studio. 

With so many styles to choose from, your sets can go in any direction. How much pre-planning do you do?

I don't plan my sets at all. I like the danger element of not knowing what's coming next and running with it. I did a three-hour set recently for the first time and loved it. I started at 110 bpm disco and ended up at 130 bpm techno. It was a lot of fun taking the room on that trip. 

Best Caribbean

1st Bahama Breeze, multiple locations, bahamabreeze.com
2nd Mama Millie's, 12273 University Blvd., 407-382-3570, mamamillies.com
3rd Caribbean Sunshine Bakery, multiple locations, caribbeansunshinebakery.net

Best Chinese

1st Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1103 N. Mills Ave., 407-237-0606, facebook.com/hawkersstreetfare
2nd Imperial Dynasty Chinese Restaurant, 2045 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-786-2266, imperialdynasty.com
3rd Lam's Garden, 2505 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-0370

Best French

1st Le Coq au Vin, 4800 S. Orange Ave., 407-851-6980, lecoqauvinrestaurant.com
2nd Chez Vincent Traditional French Cuisine, 533 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-2929, chezvincent.com
3rd Paris Bistro, 216 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-671-4424, parisbistroparkave.com

Best Greek

1st The Greek Corner, 1600 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-0303, thegreekcorner.net
2nd Mediterranean Blue, 435 E. Michigan St., 407-422-2583, mediterraneanblue.net
3rd Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive, Suite 2240, 2nd Floor of Pointe Orlando Plaza, 407-351-8660, opaorlando.com

Best Indian

1st Woodlands, 6040 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-854-3330, woodlandsusa.com
2nd Memories of India, 7625 Turkey Lake Road, 407-370-3277; 3895 Lake Emma Road, Lake Mary, 407-804-0920, memoriesofindiacuisine.com
3rd Moghul Indian Cuisine, 401 N. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-599-9001, moghulindiancuisine.com

Best Italian

1st ll Pescatore, 651 N. Primrose Drive, 407-896-6763, ilpescatoreonline.com
2nd Tolla's, 240 N. Pennsylvania Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0068, tollasdeli.com
3rd Stefano's Trattoria, 1425 Tuskawilla Road, Winter Springs, 407-659-0101, stefanos-trattoria.com

Best Latin

1st Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294, blackbeandeli.yolasite.com
2nd (tie) Numero Uno, 2499 S. Orange Ave., (886) 495-7187, numero-uno-restaurant.com
2nd (tie) Pio Pio Restaurant, multiple locations, mypiopio.com
3rd Guavate, 422 S. Alafaya Trail, 407-281-4700, guavateinorlando.com

Best Mexican

1st Garibaldi Mexican Cuisine, 929 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-5035
2nd Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com
3rd Gringos Locos, 20 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, eatgringos.com

Best Middle Eastern

1st Bosphorous Restaurant, 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8609, bosphorousrestaurant.com
2nd Cedar's Restaurant, 7732 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-351-6000, orlandocedars.com
3rd Tony's Deli, 1323 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-6689

Best Thai

1st SEA Thai Restaurant, 3812 E. Colonial Drive, 407-895-0985, seaorlando.com
2nd Thai House of Orlando, 2117 E. Colonial Drive, 407-898-0820, thaihouseoforlando.net
3rd Royal Thai Restaurant, 1202 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-0776, royalthai-orlando.com

Best Vietnamese

1st Little Saigon Viet-namese Cuisine, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, littlesaigonrestaurant.com
2nd Pho 88 Vietnamese Restaurant, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, pho88orlando.com
3rd Anh Hong Restaurant, 1124 E. Colonial Drive, 407-999-2656, anhhongorlando.com

Best Bakery

1st Charlie's Gourmet Pastries, 3213 Curry Ford Road, 407-898-9561, charliesgourmetpastries.com
2nd Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com
3rd Raphsodic Bakery, 710 N. Mills Ave., 407-704-8615, raphsodic.com

Best Barbecue

1st 4 Rivers Smokehouse, multiple locations, 407-474-8377, 4rsmokehouse.com
2nd Bubbalou's Bodacious Bar-B-Que, multiple locations, bubbalous.com
3rd Sonny's Real Pit Bar-B-Q, multiple locations, sonnysbbq.com

Best Breakfast/Brunch

1st Keke's Breakfast Café, multiple locations, kekesbreakfastcafe.com
2nd Dexter's, multiple locations, dexwine.com
3rd – White Wolf Café, 1829 N. Orange Ave., 407-895-9911, whitewolfcafe.com

Best Burger

1st Graffiti Junktion, multiple locations, graffitijunktion.com
2nd Pine 22, 22 E. Pine St., 407-574-2160, pine22.com
3rd Johnny's Fillin' Station, 2631 S. Ferncreek Ave., 407-894-6900, johnnysfillinstation.com

Best Cupcake

1st Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com
2nd The Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, 407-494-9336, theyumyumcupcaketruck.com
3rd Sweet! By Good Golly Miss Holly, 711 N. Alafaya Trail, 407-277-7746, sweetbyholly.com

Best Coffeehouse

1st Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, 444 N. Bumby Ave., 407-893-4994, drunkenmonkeycoffee.com
2nd Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, stardustvideoandcoffee.wordpress.com
3rd Austin's Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-3364, austinscoffee.com

Best Teahouse

1st Pom Pom's Teahouse and Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com
2nd Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, infusionorlando.com
3rd Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, facebook.com/dandelioncommunitea

Best Diner

1st Bananas Diner, 924 N. Mills Ave., 407-480-2200, bananasdiner.com
2nd Christo's Café, 1815 Edgewater Drive, 407-425-8136
3rd Linda's Winter Park Diner, 1700 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-2343, facebook.com/winterparkdiner

Best Hummus

1st Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, facebook.com/dandelioncommunitea
2nd Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive, Pointe Orlando, 407-351-8660, opaorlando.com
3rd (tie) Bosphorous Restaurant, 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8609, bosphorousrestaurant.com
3rd (tie) Tony's Deli, 1323 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-6689

Best Ice Cream

1st Jeremiah's Italian Ice, multiple locations, jeremiahsice.com
2nd Cold Stone Creamery, multiple locations, coldstonecreamery.com
3rd Twistee Treat, multiple locations, twisteetreatusa.com

Best Pizza

1st Mellow Mushroom, 2015 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-657-7755; 11680 E. Colonial Drive, 407-384-4455, mellowmushroom.com
2nd Lazy Moon, 12269 University Blvd., 407-658-2396, eatdrinkandbelazy.com
3rd Anthony's Pizza Café, 100 N. Summerlin Ave., 407-648-0009, anthonyspizza.com

Best Pho

1st Pho 88 Vietnamese Restaurant, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, pho88orlando.com
2nd Pho Hoa, 649 N. Primrose Drive, 407-895-6098, facebook.com/phohoaorlando
3rd Anh Hong Restaurant, 1124 E. Colonial Drive, 407-999-2656, anhhongorlando.com

Best Pub Grub

1st Fiddler's Green, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, fiddlersgreenorlando.com
2nd Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive., 407-802-4800, obliviontaproom.com
3rd The Ravenous Pig, 1234 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-2333, theravenouspig.com

Best Sandwich

1st Pom Pom's Teahouse and Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com
2nd TooJay's, multiple locations, toojays.com
3rd Jimmy John's, multiple locations, jimmyjohns.com

Best Seafood

1st Winter Park Fish Co., 761 Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-6112, thewinterparkfishco.com
2nd (tie) Bonefish Grill, multiple locations, bonefishgrill.com
2nd (tie) Boston Fish House, 6860 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-678-2107; 1133 Rinehart Road, Sanford, 407-878-5874, bostonsfishhouse.com
3rd Red Lobster, multiple locations, redlobster.com

Best Smoothie

1st Planet Smoothie, multiple locations, planetsmoothie.com
2nd Tropical Smoothie, multiple locations, tropicalsmoothie.com
3rd Smoothie King, multiple locations, smoothieking.com

Best Steakhouse

1st Christner's Del Frisco's Prime Steak and Lobster, 729 Lee Road, 321-282-6579, delfriscosorlando.com
2nd Charley's Steakhouse, multiple locations, talkofthetownrestaurants.com
3rd Ruth's Chris Steak House, multiple locations, ruthschris.com

Best Sushi

1st Amura, multiple locations, amura.com
2nd Seito Sushi, 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801; 8031 Turkey Lake Road, 407-248-8888, seitosushi.com
3rd Shari Sushi Lounge, 621 E. Central Blvd., 407-420-9420, sharisushilounge.com

Best Vegan

1st Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com
2nd Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, facebook.com/dandelioncommunitea
3rd Loving Hut, 2101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-5673, lovinghut.us/florida

Best Vegetarian

1st Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, facebook.com/dandelioncommunitea
2nd Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com
3rd Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, infusionorlando.com

Best Wings

1st Buffalo Wild Wings, multiple locations, buffalowildwings.com
2nd Gator's Dockside, multiple locations, gatorsdockside.com
3rd Wing House, multiple locations, winghouse.com

Best Meat

1st Petty's Meats, 2141 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-862-0400, pettysmeats.com
2nd Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com
3rd Meat House, 669 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-629-6328, themeathouse.com

Best Produce

1st Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com
2nd Eat More Produce, 1111 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-5292, eatmoreproduce.com
3rd Publix, multiple locations, publix.com

Best Outdoor Dining

1st Buffalo Wild Wings, multiple locations, buffalowildwings.com
2nd Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com/hillstone
3rd 903 Mills Market, 903 S. Mills Ave., 407-898-4308, facebook.com/pages/903-mills-market

Best Food Truck

1st Big Wheel Provisions, 407-797-0167, bigwheelprovisions.com
2nd Korean BBQ Taco Box, 407-844-3990, kbbqbox.com
3rd The Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, 407-494-9336, theyumyumcupcaketruck.com

Best Cheap Eats

1st Pom Pom's Teahouse and Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com
2nd Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com
3rd (tie) Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1103 N. Mills Ave., 407-237-0606, facebook.com/hawkersstreetfare
3rd (tie) Gringos Locos, 20 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, eatgringos.com

Best Restaurant When Someone Else Is Paying

1st The Ravenous Pig, 1234 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-2333, theravenouspig.com
2nd Christner's Del Frisco's Prime Steak and Lobster, 729 Lee Road, 321-282-6579, delfriscosorlando.com
3rd Seasons 52, 7700 Sand Lake Road, 407-354-5212, seasons52.com

Best Late Night

1st Bananas Diner, 924 N. Mills Ave., 407-480-2200, bananasdiner.com
2nd Pom Pom's Teahouse and Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com
3rd Tako Cheena, 932 Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, takocheena.com

Best attention-grabber beverage

Beet & green apple juice from Café 118º
153 E. Morse Blvd., Winter Park
407-389-2233, cafe118.com

Nope, it's not Tru Blood – "cow's blood mixed with goat milk" is our usual deadpan response when startled Park Avenue pedestrians stop to ask what we're drinking. In truth, the not-so-petrifying potable is a blend of beets, carrots and green apples courtesy of Café 118º's juice mixologists, but the synthesis of ingredients takes on the look of a different deep-red, clotted fluid – the kind appetizing to vampires – when seen through a plastic go-cup or in a glass. The juice will set you back $5, but the look on people's faces? Priceless.

Best food-related law

Cottage food operation
Florida statute 500.80(5)

Last year, entrepreneurs who dreamed of launching a small food operation saw a huge cost barrier removed. In July 2011 the state of Florida made it legal, with certain restrictions, for small business owners to make some food products in home kitchens rather than requiring them to rent time in a licensed commercial facility. Passage of House Bill 7209 brought Orlando one step closer to artisanal Brooklyn; now we're just waiting for the explosion of small-batch bitters, shrub vinegars, pickled ramps and pretzel rolls.

Best restaurant in which to relive a recent Roman repast

Peperoncino Cucina
7988 Via Dellagio Way
407-440-2856
peperoncinocucina.com

Those who've sojourned in Italy know full well that sinking feeling upon returning home, occasioned by the prospect of dining at Italian restaurants nowhere near the caliber of those found in the Old World. But there is a cure for the post-Roman Holiday withdrawal: a meal at Barbara Alfano's Peperoncino. Her daily changing menu spotlights dishes evocative of the rustic and contemporary meals we've enjoyed in il bel paese, while the intimate environs (elbow-to-elbow seating isn't out of the question here) can quickly make amici out of strangers.

Best restaurant for Jews cheating on their spouses

Flame Kabob
7536 Dr. Phillips Blvd.
407-248-2280

We confess: This category is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but no offense is meant. After seeing the hilariously inappropriate "Palestinian Chicken" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, the thought occurred to us that Palestinian-run Flame Kabob (like "Al Abbas Original Best Chicken," the eatery in said episode) would be, to paraphrase Larry David, "a fantastic place for Jews who are cheating on their spouses to come to. You'd never get caught, because no self-respecting Jew would come here!" In addition to being an ideal hideaway for philandering MOTs, the place serves up some of the finest kebabs this side of the West Bank. Hey, if treaties, accords and saber-rattling won't solve the Middle East crisis, maybe good sex and delicious kafta will.

Best bacon

C&S Brisket Bus, brisketbus.com, Twitter: @CSBrisketBus

Bacon may have jumped the shark for many gastronomes, but at C&S Brisket Bus, it's still revered and respected alongside their other smoked, cured and corned meats. We're talking more than just maple-sugared here. How about pastrami-style? Or sweet tea-cured? More than just a gimmick, C&S's sweet tea-cured bacon has both sugary sweetness and serious black-tea notes going on.

Best non-bacon bacon

Turkey bacon at Keke's Breakfast Café
345 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park
407-629-1400, kekesbreakfastcafe.com

Yeah, some of you may think that writing about the virtues of turkey bacon amounts to a complete waste of ink, but we gave the turkey bacon at Keke's Breakfast Café in Winter Park a go, and this imposter deserves special mention. Lower in fat, calories and guilt, Keke's turkey bacon – crisp, meaty and smoky – is not just a godsend for those with a muffin top or a bay-windowed frame, it's go-to meat candy for anyone catching flak from their rabbi or cardiologist.

Best croissant

Les Petits Pleasures
2120 Edgewater Drive
407-422-4702, lespetitspleasures.com

Pretty much everything in Les Petits Pleasures screams Paris – from the gray damask covering the walls to the French-language satellite radio playing softly in the background. But nothing recalls l'Île de France more than their perfect croissants. That's not an overstatement, either: They're beautifully browned, fantastically crisp and flaky on the outside, and ultra-buttery inside. Digging into one first thing in the morning is about as idyllic as it gets on this side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Best cookie

Chocolate chunk cookie at the Flour Shop
1480 Lee Road, Winter Park
321-557-8427, flourshop.net

Some like their cookies chewy, some crispy – but the best chocolate chip cookie in Orlando is neither. This thick, gargantuan cookie is more biscuit-like: all at once sweet, salty, crumbly and buttery. Generous hunks of chocolate render this cookie more than a mere indulgence; it's a cookie-cravings annihilator.

Best panini

Dylan's Deli
1198 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park
407-622-7578, dylansdeli.net

Their combined years spent in France and Spain grant owners Arnaud and Noemi Dupont unusual sandwich expertise. Yes, panini are Italian, not French or Spanish, but the French know bread and cheese better than anyone, and the Spanish genius for tapas, those tasty little preserved bites (oil-packed tuna, marinated baby octopi, roasted peppers and tomatoes), makes for brilliant sandwich filling combos. Highly recommended.

Best mint tea this side of Marrakech

Pasha Taverna & Lounge
4104 Millenia Blvd.
407-730-3222, pashaorlando.com

Mint tea is part of any Moroccan feast, and its preparation has been elevated to an art form in Mediterranean North Africa. Here in Central Florida, no one does it better than Pasha Taverna & Lounge. Ornately designed teapots hold the elixir fashioned from sugar, gunpowder tea and fresh mint sprigs, a beverage that's at once smooth, refreshing and very sweet. The sugary quaff has put off a few local patrons and owner Simo Soaf has capitulated by scaling back the sweetness, but if you ask for your tea to be prepared (and poured) in the traditional manner – tooth-singingly sweet and poured into tiny cups from a pot held dangerously high above the table – he will gladly oblige.

Best latte

Barnie's CoffeeKitchen
118 S. Park Ave., Winter Park
407-854-6626, barniescoffeekitchen.com

The proliferation of frou-frou coffee drinks may have gotten a little out of hand, but at Barnie's CoffeeKitchen, they've elevated the art of espresso drinks to sheer sophistication. This ain't no ordinary double shot. Barnie's lattes come with the kind of practiced, sleight-of-hand latte art one sees in Milan, topped with a foam so thick and creamy, it's practically dessert on its own.

Best morning deal

Java Girls
910 Lee Road, 407-622-0601
javagirlsorlando.com

Get past the objectification. Those girls press a mean breakfast panini and use a real espresso maker complete with milk frother, both death-defying feats while wearing a bikini – and all for under $5.

Best way to widen your dining horizons for cheap

Orlando Restaurant Week
orlandorestaurantweek.com

Each year, usually in May, Orlando Weekly releases its dining guide, BITE. And each year, to celebrate this utterly stellar collection of condensed critics' reviews, dozens of Orlando restaurants offer three-course prix fixe meals for between $10 and $35, giving locals a low-risk, high-reward impetus to try a new dish, a new restaurant, a new part of town. Go eat!

Best Asian market

Woo Sung Market
5079 Edgewater Drive
407-295-4077

Whether you're raiding the ready-to-eat banchan (the bevy of condiments/garnishes/side dishes that accompany Korean meals), stocking up on house-made kimchi or furrowing your brow over unrecognizable vegetables, there's always something to take a chance on (and love!) at Woo Sung Market. Even if you have no idea what the packages say, it's cool. Chances are, it'll be an eye-opener.

Best shawarma

Middle East Market & Deli
8100 S. Orange Blossom Trail
407-855-6555
middleeastdeli.com

If the sight of a rotating, dripping, juicy spit of mystery meat makes you weak in the knees, Middle East Market's version of shawarma, a Persian specialty sandwich, could cause an Arab Spring in your mouth. Choose from chicken or lamb; pile on the bright pink pickled turnips, hummus, cucumber and tomato; and let the warm pita take you away to a petroleum-rich food paradise far, far away.

Best messy meal

Melissa's Chicken & Waffles
facebook.com/melissaswaffletruck

The enormous waffle creations served from Melissa's bright-orange school bus can be a bit daunting. To enjoy, you must get over the realization that 1) some part of this meal will definitely trickle down your face and possibly onto your clothes; and 2) each of your bites will make you faintly resemble a velociraptor. Grab a few extra napkins and don't let it stop you – the sweet-and-salty, crisp-and-spicy, warm-and-hearty goodness that emanates from this food truck will make the slop factor worth it.

Best summer cocktail

Cetriolo at Prato
124 N. Park Ave., Winter Park
407-262-0050
prato-wp.com

We hate to give away secret recipes (this one is actually printed on Prato's cocktail menu, we swear), but to appreciate this, you've got to hear the ingredients. The cetriolo combines organic cucumber vodka, agave nectar, lime, white cranberry juice and basil to create a refreshing, simple craft cocktail that'll offer a much-needed reprieve from the hot-and-sticky air outside. When sipped at Prato's rustically swank bartop, you'll feel refreshed and decadent.

Best nonalcoholic beer

Butterbeer at Wizarding World of Harry Potter
Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure

Harry and his classmates were merely tweens at the start of J.K. Rowling's series, so real booze was out of the question for them. But butterbeer, in all of its sugary-
sweet glory, was a suitably intoxicating alternative. Universal Orlando has concocted its own butterbeer, a sweet, frothy, frosty beverage with hints of butterscotch and cream soda. Dozens of recipe variants can be found on the Internet, some of which include real butter, but why bother with that when the stuff sold at Universal's Islands of Adventure is pretty much exactly what you would have imagined the drink described in the books to be?

Best Weed Eater

Deane Jordan
eattheweeds.com

Food is everywhere in Orlando – in parks, in backyards, even in ditches – but the thing is, you need someone to teach you what to eat and what to avoid. Orlando's urban and suburban landscapes boast more delicious edible wild plants than some entire states do, and forager Deane Jordan, aka Green Deane, can help you find them. If you're a health nut, you'll love foraging because wild plants have a higher nutritional content than many veggies (both conventional and organic) found at the grocery store or co-op. If you're a dumpster-diving freegan, you'll love the nonexistent cost. And if you're a foodie, you'll find yourself squarely in the middle of the foraged-food trend made popular by restaurants such as Noma in Copenhagen. While we don't suggest you eat any old weed you come upon (see "Backyard buffet," March 22), we know once you try your first safely prepared meal from a ditch, you'll be hooked.

Best place to get a taste of World War I

Anzac biscuits at Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar
444 N. Bumby Ave.
407-893-4994
drunkenmonkeycoffee.com

ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, and the biscuit of the same name was popularized in Australia during World War I, presumably because simple ingredients like rolled oats, flour and desiccated coconut could stay relatively tasty after a long transit. Selling Anzac biscuits takes verve, though, since Australian law protects the name and original recipe. In 2008 Subway restaurants abandoned plans to sell their own version of the cookie, since they were prohibited from using cheap substitute ingredients. Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, always up for a challenge, began offering an original-recipe version ($1.50) a little over two years ago. Recently they began including flavored varieties like peanut butter, lemon ginger and a gluten-free version (all for $2 each). The soft, not-too-sweet cookies may not make you nostalgic for the days of trench warfare, but the taste will leave you shell-shocked.

Best place to drink from a boot

Hollerbach's Willow Tree Café
205 E. First St., Sanford
407-321-2204
willowtreecafe.com

Proffering real German gemütlichkeit (bless you), which is basically a sense of euphoric and drunken camaraderie, Hollerbach's brings the sleepy downtown Sanford strip to raucous life nightly in a way that stands in stark relief to what Sanford has now unfortunately become known for. All sorts of meaty German fare is offered in a family-style, long-bench setting as the lederhosen, yodeling and folk instruments come out periodically to send the assembled masses – the place gets packed – into a "schunkeling" mess of arm-locked, swaying (so as not to fall over) audience participation. At the dinner service's peak, a giant plastic boot of beer is passed around a table, with each participant basically forced to swig the joyful backwash of their nearest neighbor. It's German! It's fun! It's totally not what you expect in Sanford.

Best foodie trend to hit Orlando last

Le Macaron
216 N. Park Ave., Winter Park

Just another foodie trend that's gone yawningly mainstream in bigger cities before it pops up here (or eye-rollingly "ugh so OVER" to the real cool kids), macarons are nevertheless so freaking pretty and sweet and delicious and delicate that they get a wide-spectrum late pass from us. (Le Macaron's gelato is also pretty good.) They may be 2012's cupcake, but given the choice between a cupcake and a macaron, we say bring on the macaron truck.

Best popsicle

Chocolate-banana-sea salt pop
Yum-Yum Pops
yumyumpops.net

We love most of Yum-Yum's flavors – blueberry-hibiscus is a close runner-up – but this particular pop is a frozen chunk of joy. It's packed with deep, rich, creamy cocoa; the banana taste/texture is present in a backgroundy way, like a hint of tropicalia; the salt is barely perceptible except for the way it sharpens the other flavors. ■

Best adult entertainment store

1st Fairvilla Megastore, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-6005; 7631 International Drive,407-826-1627, fairvilla.com
2nd Premier Adult Factory Outlet, 5009 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-857-2050, premieradult.com
3rd Tease, 6325 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-445-3939 teaseorlando.com

Best bike shop

1st Orange Cycle, 2204 Edgewater Drive, 407-422-5552, orangecycleorlando.com
2nd Kyle's Bike Shop, 203 N. Primrose Drive, 407-228-7088, kylesbikeshop.net
3rd David's World Cycle, mult-iple locations, davidsworld.com

Best CD store

1st Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-447-7275, parkavecds.com
2nd East-West Compact Discs & Tapes, 4895 S. Orange Ave., 407-859-8991
3rd Rock & Roll Heaven, 1814 N. Orange Ave., 407-896-1952, rock-n-rollheaven.com

Best comic book shop

1st A Comic Shop, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, acomicshop.com
2nd Coliseum of Comics, multiple locations, coliseumofcomics.com
3rd Acme Superstore, 905 E. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-331-0433, acme-superstore.com

Best custom body shop

1st 809 Auto Worx, 6200 E. Colonial Drive, 321-438-3031, 809 autoworx.com
2nd Daya's Custom Auto, 6650 Kingspointe Parkway, 407-781-1414; 800 Bennett Drive, Longwood, 407-331-5599, dayas.com
3rd Willie's Paint & Body Shop, 4114 Park Lake St., 407-895-8850

Best doggy Daycare

1st Dog Day Afternoon, 1015 Sligh Blvd., 407-835-9200; 200 S. Myrtle Ave., Sanford, 407-328-9205, dogdayafternoon.net
2nd Ranger's Pet Outpost and Retreat, 1239 Minnesota Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-4884, rangerspetoutpost.com
3rd Happy Paws Pet Resort, 12693 E. Colonial Drive, 407-282-5656, happypawsorlando.com

Best locally owned pet supply store

1st Pookie's Pet Nutrition & Bow Wow Bakery, 1980 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-7387, pookiesbowwowbakery.com
2nd Woof Gang Bakery, multiple locations, woofgangbakery.com
3rd Baldwin Bark & Meow Supply, 4836 New Broad St., 407-893-6868, baldwinbark.com

Best dry cleaner

1st Best Cleaners, multiple locations, bestcleanersorlando.com
2nd Acme Cleaners, multiple locations, acmecleaners.com
3rd Adair Custom Cleaners, 1310 Edgewater Drive, 407-422-1946

Best farmers market

1st Winter Park Farmers' Market, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3397, cityofwinterpark.org
2nd Downtown Orlando Farmers Market, Lake Eola Park, corner of East Central Boulevard and North Eola Drive, orlandofarmersmarket.com
3rd Audubon Park Community Market, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, apmarket.wordpress.com

Best garden center

1st Palmer's Garden & Goods, 2611 Corrine Drive, 407-896-5951, palmersgarden.com
2nd Lukas Nursery, 1909 Slavia Road, Oviedo, 407-365-6163, lukasnursery.com
3rd Lowe's, multiple locations, lowes.com

Best furniture store

1st IKEA, 4092 Eastgate Drive, 407-355-3155, ikea.com
2nd Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-4403; 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-322-1449, washburnimports.com
3rd 1618 Something Different, 1618 N. Orange Ave., 407-897-6707, somethingdifferentretro.com

Best hair salon

1st Alchemy, 2812 Edgewater Drive, 407-650-8022, alchemyorlando.com
2nd (tie) Halo Salon and Spa, 1910 Alden Road, 407-898-4256, haloorlando.com
2nd (tie) J. Bauman Salon, 1043 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-9044, jbaumansalon.com
3rd Parlour Salon and Spa, 904 S. Bumby Ave., 407-896-6335, parloursalonandspa.com

Best health food store

1st Whole Foods Market, 8003 Turkey Lake Road, 407-355-7100; 1989 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-673-8788, wholefoodsmarket.com
2nd Chamberlin's Market & Café, multiple locations, chamberlins.com
3rd Hoover's Market, 1035 Academy Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-869-0000, hooversmarket.com

Best jewelry

1st Jared – The Galleria Of Jewelry, multiple locations, jared.com
2nd Dear Prudence Shop, 2912 Corrine Drive, 407-894-8941, dresssweet.com
3rd Victoria Jewelers, 4844 New Broad St., 407-895-0047, victoriajewelers.net

Best liquor store

1st Total Wine, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553; 4625 Millenia Plaza Way, 407-352-6330, totalwine.com
2nd ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, multiple locations, abcfws.com
3rd Wally's Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975, wallysonmills.com

Best mechanic

1st Auto Repair Inc., 1024 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-872-7352, orlandoautorepair.com
2nd Gene's Auto Service, 3025 Corrine Drive, 407-645-1647
3rd Mahoney's Auto Repair, 1120 N. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-628-3450

Best men's fashion

1st Dechoes Resale, 2110 Edgewater Drive, 407-648-7480; 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6622, dechoesresale.com
2nd Death by Pop, 1844 Winter Park Road, 407-960-4745, deathbypopshop.com
3rd Joseph A. Banks, multiple locations, josbank.com

Best women's fashion

1st Dechoes, 2110 Edgewater Drive, 407-648-7480; 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6622, dechoesresale.com
2nd Etolie Boutique, 2424 E. Robinson St., 407-895-6363, etoileboutique.com
3rd Tuni's, 301 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-1609, shoptuni.com

Best musical instrument store

1st Sam Ash, 4644 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-5508; 912 Lee Road, 407-599-1222, samashmusic.com
2nd Guitar Center, 520 North Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-9119, guitarcenter.com
3rd Georges Music, 6817 Visitors Circle, 407-352-8000, georgesmusic.com

Best nail salon

1st Koi Nail Spa, 2025 W.P. Ball Blvd., Sanford, 407-302-3655, facebook.com/pages/koi-nail-spa/113646612438
2nd Parlour Salon & Spa, 904 S. Bumby Ave., 407-896-6335, parloursalonandspa.com
3rd The Spa, LLC, 2626 Edgewater Drive, 407-898-7737, thespallc.com

Best skate shop

1st Galactic G, 2020 N. Orange Ave., 407-895-0410, galacticg.com
2nd Ron Jon, 5160 International Drive, 407-481-2555, ronjons.com
3rd USS Catalyst, 12299 University Blvd., 407-380-7427, universitysurfandskate.com

Best smoke shop

1st Kush Hookah Lounge, 23 S. Court Ave., 407-843-5874, kushultralounge.com
2nd Climax, 714 N. Mills Ave., 407-440-4506; 11039 E. Colonial Drive, 407-704-8758, orlandosmokeshop.com
3rd Corona Cigar Company, 407-404-5344, 127 S. Orange Ave., coronacigar.com

Best spa

1st The Spa, LLC, 2626 Edgewater Drive, 407-898-7737, thespallc.com
2nd The Ritz Carlton, 4048 Central Florida Parkway, 407-393-4900, ritzcarlton.com
3rd The Beauty Spot, 2305 Edgewater Drive, 407-481-1188, beautyspotinc.com

Best T-shirts

1st Mother Falcon, 817 E. Washington St., 407-423-3060, motherfalconclothing.com
2nd Enemy Ink, 407-788-7865, 1500 Alden Road, enemyink.com
3rd Death by Pop, 407-960-4745, 1844 Winter Park Road, deathbypopshop.com

Best tattoo/piercing parlor

1st Black Chapel Tattoo, 693 N. Orange Ave., 407-420-9636, blackchapeltattoos.com
2nd Ascension Tattoo, 832 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-2013, ascensiontattoo.com
3rd Orlando Tattoo Company, 11229 E. Colonial Drive, 407-412-5922, orlandotattoocompany.com

Best thrift store

1st Goodwill, multiple locations, goodwill.org
2nd Dechoes Resale, 2110 Edgewater Drive, 407-648-7480; 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6622, dechoesresale.com
3rd Community Thrift Store, 5456 S. Orange Ave., 407-290-6003; 6015 Edgewater Drive, 407-295-2799

Best used book store

1st The Book Worm, 422 N. Bumby Ave., 407-898-7888, thebookwormoforlando.com
2nd Barrel of Books & Games, 144 W. Fifth Ave., Mount Dora, 352-735-1950, booksetseller.com/info.html
3rd Bright Light Books, 161 E. State Road 436, Fern Park, 407-622-6657, brightlightbooks.com

Best vintage clothes store

1st Dechoes Resale, 2110 Edgewater Drive, 407-648-7480; 2525 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6622, dechoesresale.com
2nd Etolie Boutique, 2424 E. Robinson St., 407-895-6363, etoileboutique.com
3rd Déjà Vu Vintage Clothing, 1825 N. Orange Ave., 407-898-3609

Best vinyl record store

1st Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-447-7275, parkavecds.com
2nd Rock & Roll Heaven, 1814 N. Orange Ave., 407-896-1952, rock-n-rollheaven.com
3rd Vinyl Richie's Wiggly World of Records, 2436 E. Robinson St., 407-895-0001

Best wine shop

1st Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553; 4625 Millenia Plaza Way, 407-352-6330, totalwine.com
2nd Tim's Wine Market, multiple locations, timswine.com
3rd The Wine Room on Park Ave, 270 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-696-9463, thewineroomonline.com

Best selection of gold by the pound

Magic Mall
2155 W. Colonial Drive

Nameplates! Doorknockers! Gucci bamboo hoops! Cuban links, herringbones, dookie ropes! Medallions! Dog tags! Caps and grills! On strictly utilitarian purchases like these, it just makes sense to seek out rock-bottom prices. To ensure you're not getting ripped off, hit one of the many gold stalls at the Magic Mall and pay by troy weight, with no poncey designer markup.

Best 24-hour gym for nerds

Familab
1355 Bennett Drive, Longwood 407-406-5946, familab.org

Familab is a "hackerspace": a tool-stocked workshop where creative thinkers of all stripes can come together to teach and learn. Software coders, makers of robots, steampunk solder-monkeys – all can meet for classes in microcontroller platforms and Python programming language, or slip in at any hour to use the 3-D printers, laser cutters and power tools. (It's like the best shop class ever, minus the angry eight-fingered teacher.) If you would prefer to geek out over Arduino and RFID technology rather than kettlebells and endurance gels, this is the 24-hour-access key card to have in your wallet.

Best party venue you never knew existed

The Acre
4421 Edgewater Drive, [email protected]

There's probably a reason you don't know this place exists, and it's because, by and large, only those in the know have used it as the rustic-in-all-the-right-ways venue for parties, festivals, photo shoots and celebrations. It sounds trite to say it, but trust us, this place is magical. It's a little compound in College Park comprised of quirky and rough-hewn garages, barns and outbuildings that have been restored and landscaped just enough to give the place class, but not enough to make it feel generic or precious – instead, it kind of feels like an eccentric neighbor's backyard retreat, a cross between a serene commune and an artist's studio. Owner Tim McMahon has been working on the place diligently, and he hopes to use it to host weddings, shows and parties. If you're not into the outdoors, and the idea of having your guests wander through various buildings, as if in a half-awake dream, sounds more like a nightmare than a party, this place is not for you; but if the idea of holding your wedding/birthday party/whatever in a sterile hall or hotel ballroom makes you cringe, you probably want to check out the Acre.

Best selection of bike messenger bags

Ace Metric Cycles
444 W. New England Ave., Winter Park
407-790-7802
acemetric.blogspot.com

There's nothing more perfect – or important, if you're using your bike for more than just recreational riding – than a well-designed bike messenger bag. You want something lightweight, but sturdy. Comfortable, but practical. And of course, you want it to look cool. Ace Metric carries a small but well-curated selection of some of the most well-designed and fashionable bags we've seen – Burro out of Jacksonville, Makr bags (made in Winter Park) and a handful of structured, minimalist bags made by the makers of Linus bikes with padded sleeves so you can safely transport your laptop. Now you have no excuses not to bike to work.

Best indie convenience store

Handy Pantry
522 E. Amelia St., 407-423-8954

In the brave new world of Aldis, Super Targets and Walmarts (not to mention 7-Elevens), Handy Pantry, located in the middle of Lake Eola Heights, recalls the charm of old-timey corner stores like those still found up in New Jersey or Massachusetts. Literally a mom-and-pop shop – a mother and father practically live there seven days a week – Handy Pantry offers a decent selection of wine and beer to accompany your typical snack-bag fare. But the real treat is the homemade sandwiches; the deli counter offers a variety of them named after downtown streets (our favorite is the Cathcart!), which you can eat there or rush home with in your laundry-day sweats. They also play host to the neighborhood association's annual block party, which is more fun than it might sound.

Best museum store

Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art
445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park
407-645-5311

Technically, there are probably more adventurous museum gift shops out there – ones that sell a wider variety of the tchotchkes and trinkets and coffee mugs and so forth that have become de rigueur at most museum gift shops. We like the gift shop at the Morse because, like the Morse itself, it's true to form. It focuses on American arts-and-crafts inspired pottery, glassworks, jewelry and bowls, stained-glass panels and accessories modeled on the designs of Louis Comfort Tiffany, to whom this museum is dedicated.

Best place to buy local art in your underwear

Twelve21 Gallery online store
twelve21gallery.com/products-page

Twelve21, already rockin' it since 2010 with exhibitions of local art stars and lesser-known discoveries, has added online shopping to the mix with their new website. Check the store, put some art in your cart, and choose shipping or local pickup: easier than Amazon. (Actually, there's no good reason you couldn't go to one of the openings in your underwear. Just don't tell them it was our idea.)

Best relocation

Sam Flax
1800 E. Colonial Drive
407-898-9785, samflaxorlando.com

We were sad when we heard last year that Sam Flax was moving out of its longtime location on the corner of Shine Avenue and Colonial Drive. In our minds, that was the Sam Flax building: Quirky and loud from streetview, complete with a portrait of the business' founder and a mural by Orlando artist Andrew Spear painted on the side, and packed to the hilt with paints, easels, pastels, canvases, portfolios – a working artist's store if ever there was one. But then we saw what they had in store for the new space, just up the road in an old furniture gallery on Colonial. Lots of room to browse, an expanded retail space for gifts and stationary, plenty of floor space for demos, workshops and classes and art markets in the parking lot on weekends. And if we missed the artwork on the old building, the new artwork is even more impressive: Spear's company, Metro Finishes, painted the facade of the building to make it look like it was inspired by Mondrian, and three more murals by local artists – Spear, Swamburger and Charles Marklin – grace the wall next to the store entrance. It's a welcome jolt of color and energy on an otherwise dull strip of Colonial Drive.

Best stuffed animals

Walnut Animal Society
walnutanimalsociety.com

Local artisan Lauren Alane Bradshaw, previously known to Etsyers for her needle-felted birds and custom wedding-cake toppers, has bested previous adorable efforts with her Walnut Animal Society collection. Each Wes Anderson-esque fox, bunny, bear or what-have-you is filled with sustainably gleaned kapok, exquisitely stitched and hand-finished, and costumed in removable clothing. The pristine members of Bradshaw's Society are more keepsake material than kid stuff, but they're nearly irresistible to anyone still in touch with that inner child.

Best homebrew supply

Heart's Homebrew
6190 Edgewater Drive
407-298-4103
heartshomebrew.com

Heart's Homebrew, a nondescript shop in a strip mall on Edgewater Drive in College Park, is our go-to place when we get the yen for making our own beer and wine. The store has a wide range of homebrewing kits and booze-making equipment that'll suit the novice and advanced homebrewer alike.

Best expansion of the local food movement

Homegrown Food Co-op Farm Store
2310 N. Orange Ave.
407-895-5559, homegrowncoop.org

Since Homegrown has opened its storefront on Orange Avenue, it's only gotten better – more local produce, more local meats and dairy products, a wider selection of prepared treats like popsicles and heavenly homemade flans. But even better: The store is now open seven days a week from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., which means it's super-easy to put your money where it belongs – in the hands of local farmers and producers in our community who grow and raise the food you put on your table.

Best vegan meth

Free ice chips at Artichoke Red
1813 N. Orange Ave., 407-898-3353, artichokered.com

The candy "ice chips" given away free with purchase at Ivanhoe Village vegan supply depot Artichoke Red are homemade, tasty and, well, vegan – all traits that ought to make them unimpeachably wholesome. But the little plastic baggie filled with translucent whitish chips does bear an unfortunate resemblance to Nazi cold. Sweet and habit-forming, though perhaps (thankfully) not as addictive as the street variety.

Best local Zucks

Crunchy Logistics
189 S. Orange Ave., Suite 1530-B
crunchylogistics.com

Young entrepreneur Neil Dufva and his small team of tech-y imaginers at Crunchy Logistics have a thing for interactive screens – big ones. Investing millions into R&D paid off for the Orlando-based pioneers when they unveiled – via viral video, naturally – what they call the "Padzilla," a 70-inch, fully functional iPad that can double as a conference room tabletop, a check-in tool at a luxury hotel or, as currently on display at various Hard Rock Hotel and Casinos, a multimedia tour guide. Next up for the Padzilla: Xbox 360 Kinect integration, retinal technology and, well, a really big carrying case.

Best place for green thumbs

Lukas Nursery
1909 Slavia Road, Oviedo, 407-365-6163, lukasnursery.com

As a newbie gardener, you need to know one thing above all else: how not to kill your plants. Which is why we love the sprawling Lukas Nursery in Oviedo. The place is staffed with a welcoming and helpful group of Florida-certified horticultural professionals who'll help you get to know your root rot from your dry rot, and the plant selection is adeptly sorted by variety, height and tolerance to sun exposure. But the best part about this nursery is its Butterfly Encounter, a year-round butterfly conservatory where you can not only watch swarms of pretty, colorful insects flock to the nectar-rich flowers but also feed them from your fingertips.

Best way to preserve floral arrangements

Keepsake Floral
724 Brookhaven Drive
800-616-5337
keepsakefloral.com

If you've been married, you know: Brides spend an asinine amount of money on wedding floral arrangements. If you've dished out all that cash for something that's just going to wilt and die anyway, it makes sense to try to get some kind of long-term keepsake out of it, right? It just so happens that Keepsake Floral, a nationally renowned company featured in pubs like Martha Stewart Weddings, calls Orlando home. The company's custom floral-preservation packages range from $100 for something simple to upward of $800 for more elaborate packages. Shadow boxes, glass displays, framed mementos – you name it, they offer it. Keepsake Floral's 10-14 week processing time might seem lengthy, but we're talking about memories here. Plus, your only other option is to let your floral investment go to waste, right? Trust us, it's worth it.

Best nostalgic voodoo

Treasures and Artifacts
1263 S. U.S. Highway 17-92
Longwood

Deep in the heart of one of 17-92's many strip malls lies a film lover's must-see: A Hollywood memorabilia and antiques shop – a "uniqueatorium," in fact – where old McDonald's tie-in toys rest in peace beside a 1969 Dark Shadows board game with a boy's gameplay notes still inside. The best part: Ask nicely and the owner might show you his Marwencol-esque, self-assembled and painted G.I. Joe action figures, reimagined to suit his own dream world.

Best of Orlando 2012

This year's Best of Orlando issue was written, edited, tallied, combined and compiled with the blood, sweat and tears of Marcus Griggs, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Billy Manes, Dave Plotkin, Eleanor Roy, Justin Strout, Erin Sullivan, Aimee Vitek, Katie Westfall and Jessica Bryce Young. Rob Bartlett of bartlettimage.com was our lead photographer for this issue, and our cover model is the wonderful Jose Melendez, better known as the Diamond Exchange's Mr. Gold Orlando. Thanks to all of our readers who submitted more than 6,000 (!) ballots in this year's Readers Poll, making it our most popular Best of Orlando Readers Poll yet. We couldn't have done it without you.

Best Kept Secret

1st The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, acomicshop.com/geekeasy
2nd Central Florida Stamp and Sign, 139 E. Pine St., 407-423-2500, centralfloridastampandsign.com
3rd Al Fresco, 146 W. Plant St., Winter Garden, 407-654-5889, alfrescowintergarden.com

Best Charitable Organization

1st Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, 3319 Maguire Blvd., 407-898-0733, lls.org
2nd The Mustard Seed, 12 Mustard Seed Lane, 407-875-2040, mustardseedfla.org
3rd (tie) Second Harvest Food Bank, 3522 Mercy Drive, 407-295-1066, foodbankcentralflorida.org
3rd (tie) Give Kids the World, 210 S. Bass Road, Kissimmee, 407-396-1144, gktw.org

Best Local Cheerleader

1st Jeffrey Pfaff
2nd Mark Baratelli
3rd Buddy Dyer

Best Local Website

1st nerdyshow.com
2nd thedailycity.com
3rd support-small-biz.com

Best Local TV Newsperson

1st Martha Sugalski, WESH 2
2nd Lauren Rowe, WKMG
3rd Tom Terry, WFTV

Best Local Big shot

1st Tri-Force Mike (Pandel), Triforcemike.com
2nd Jim Philips, realradio.fm/pages/phile.html
3rd John Morgan, forthepeople.com

Best Local Blog

1st thedailycity.com
2nd geekrest.com
3rd analogartistinadigitalworld.com

Best Local Politician

1st Lawson Lamar
2nd Buddy Dyer
3rd Jeff Ashton

Best Local Politician in need of a slap upside the head

1st Rick Scott
2nd Buddy Dyer
3rd Alan Grayson

Best Local Publication

1st Orlando Weekly
2nd A Comic Book
3rd Wake Journal

Best Radio Personality

1st Jim Philips, Real Radio 104.1 FM
2nd Johnny Magic, XL 106.7 FM
3rd SBK, Real Radio 104.1 FM

Best Local Twitter Feed

1st @sbklive
2nd @thedailycity
3rd @thedropp

Best Local Writer

1st Scott Maxwell, Orlando Sentinel
2nd Billy Manes, Orlando Weekly
3rd Lindsay Hitchcock, lindsayhitchcock.weebly.com

Best Place to Take Out-of-Towners

1st Walt Disney World
2nd Park Avenue in Winter Park
3rd A Comic Shop,
114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, acomicshop.com

Best Reason to Live in Orlando

1st The weather
2nd A Comic Shop
3rd Walt Disney World

Best Reason to Leave Orlando

1st The weather
2nd Tourists
3rd Crime

Best Use of Taxpayer Money

1st Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts
2nd Amway Center
3rd Lake Eola Fountain improvements

Best Waste of Taxpayer Money

1st Amway Center
2nd Citrus Bowl improvements
3rd Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts

Personal Best

1st The Barter Network,
thebarternetwork.net
2nd Lake Eola
3rd A Comic Shop

Best Sport

Jose Melendez, Orlando's Mr. Gold

Gracing the cover of Orlando Weekly's 2012 Best of Orlando issue is no sweat, when you're Jose Melendez. Better known as Orlando's Mr. Gold, Melendez is the man in the gold lamé Elvis suit, dancing at the corner of Colonial Drive and Maguire Boulevard. His job is to get your attention, and then to get you inside the Diamond Exchange, where they trade (what else?) cash for gold.

As thermostats inch higher, and another cruel July makes us rethink why we live in Central Florida, Melendez will still be working outside, top hat and gold mask glinting in the sunlight. So how much is he hating his job right now? Not at all, it turns out.

 "I don't like it, I love it," Melendez says. "One hundred percent."

In fact, he says he works better in the hot air. Melendez, 35, was a "house dad" for a couple of years before taking on the gig two years ago. An Orlando resident of 25 years, Melendez attended Oak Ridge High School before getting into trouble with the law.

"Being an ex-con, cause I am, I'm an ex-felon, it was hard for a while, yeah," he says, recalling a less gilded chapter in his life. "But I was given a chance to work."

That chance came from Jim and Virginia Ann Rodriguez, the owners of Diamond Exchange, who were already trying out a Mr. Gold character. But the role called for a more dazzling personality.

"They had one, but not one like me," Melendez says. "They used to have someone out there just waving."

Melendez, a single dad, knew he could do it better – and he does. He tips his gold top hat with a distinctive flick of his wrist, he engages people driving along Colonial, dancing nonstop the whole time he's out there. Maybe he's so good at his job because he's inspired by faith. He listens to gospel music while he's working, and he describes his job as a religious experience.

"It's more like praise and worship all day long," he says. "I don't call it routine ... it's worship."

When Melendez isn't working for the Diamond Exchange, he likes to spend time with his 7-year-old son, Elliott, who already exhibits his father's confidence and charm. When asked if he's currently single, Melendez responds carefully, "I got my eyes on this special woman. ...

She's a very special, godly woman. And she know who she is."

In a steaming, sweltering city full of sign twirlers who look like they're one step up from rock-bottom, Melendez has made a bona fide career out of what is arguably one of the worst jobs in town. But Melendez doesn't see it that way – as unemployment continues to crush the spirits of thousands of Floridians, Melendez considers himself lucky.

"I said, 'I'm gonna turn this job into a career,' and I did." he says.

That's why we chose him to represent us in this issue – he embodies the spirit of the Best of Orlando.

Best civic romance

Orlando and Orange County Domestic-Partner Registries

Last year, Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer made it clear that he would move forward with a domestic-partner registry by the end of 2011, inspiring slightly more conservative Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs to wink that she might consider doing the same. But then something strange happened – Jacobs got all vague and general on the terms of such an ordinance, suggesting that people shouldn't even have to live together to register as domestic partners, and she gave the appearance of flaking. Meanwhile, the city went ahead and passed its ordinance in December. Immediately, the Orlando Anti-Discrimination Ordinance Committee sprung into action, pressuring Jacobs on her talking points and raising the public profile of the issue in the media. Eventually the committee pushed Jacobs away from her "you can be partners with your neighbor" stance and she finally agreed to sign an ordinance that offered the same scant rights to gay couples that the city's ordinance offers. Everybody wins! Eventually.

Best meeting in the ladies room

United Arts of Central Florida CEO Margot Knight, Planned Parenthood CEO Sue Idtensohn and Fringe Festival producing artistic director Beth Marshall ... all step down

It's hard not to suspect a bathroom-stall smoking conspiracy when three of the region's most powerful – and outspoken – women make the choice to exit their vaunted posts within the stretch of just a few months. You can almost hear the cackles over the hand dryer! The first sign something was up came when bawdy Beth Marshall announced she would be leaving her forever job as Fringe ringleader following last year's successful shenanigans in May (she went on to start Beth Marshall Presents). Then, in September, United Arts queen Margot Knight shocked the arts world with her announcement that she would be leaving town for a hippie-writing-commune gig way out West at the Djerassi Resident Artists Program in Woodside, Calif. Finally, Planned Parenthood powerhouse Sue Idtensohn revealed that she would be retiring in January of this year. All three women have been huge contributors to the landscape of this town; all three also inspired their share of booster acrimony by speaking their minds. They will all – save Marshall, who's still noodling around town, albeit in a quieter context – be sorely missed. Lock the bathroom. No one else can leave.

Best reminder that Jesus is dead

Trinity Broadcasting Network gets sued

It's hard to escape the hairspray stench emanating from the Holy Land Experience ever since Trinity Broadcasting Network's Paul and Jan Crouch bought the holy mess of our own tax-free Jesus theme park in 2007. In March, a whistleblower within the company filed a suit of biblical proportions against the company alleging financial misdeeds and extravagance that included a $50 million jet for Mr. Crouch and $100,000 motor home for the puffy puppies belonging to the missus. The allegations of embezzlement wouldn't be religiously complete without reference to hush money for sexual misdeeds, so they were thrown in, too. Remember that next time you're watching Jesus doing his daily crucifixion out at the park. It's like a prayer.

Best rebirth

Disney's Orange Bird

The adorably primitive Orange Bird, originally conceived by the Florida Citrus Growers association as part of their sponsorship of the newly opened Walt Disney World, was last seen in 1981 – just another victim of the park's constant re-Imagineering. In its original incarnation, a "life-sized" Orange Bird character bobbled its awkward way through a musical revue and walked about greeting visitors; now it's merely the overpriced (and adorable) pebbly-skinned plastic receptacle of artificial citrus drink. There's just something about that face, though, that made the Orange Bird the sweetest and most-tweeted WDW trophy of 2012.

Best political gay catfight that wasn't

Randy Ross and Chase Smith both lose Orange County Commission race

The local gay gossip machine was anticipating some heavy scratching when it came to light that not one but two local gay men would be trying out for the City of Orlando District 1 commission seat. Also, what would first gay commissioner Patty Sheehan think? Well, she barely muttered a word in support of her former assistant Chase Smith, himself relatively mum until the final qualifying day, probably because he dumped her for a job with the county. Newcomer Randy Ross – he of the gay reality-show ambitions, pop-up flashmobs and Linda Stewart sidekickery – exhibited admirable effort, but in the end, it wouldn't matter. Ross received just 11 percent of the vote and Smith 28 percent; non-gay Jim Gray got 54 percent, meaning there wouldn't even be a run-off. Oh, well. No gay takeover … for now!

Best mayor that wasn't

Phil Diamond

We have to admit that we were rooting for our favorite City Council squinter when he announced last spring that he intended to go after Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer for his diamond-encrusted civic crown, but those diamonds would eventually (and inevitably) elude this soft-spoken Diamond in the rough. Why? Because being a shy person who errs on the logical side of bloated development and fiscal issues does not a dynamic campaign make, and drowned out by the glitz and cocktail parties fueling Buddy's love parade, most people hardly took a chance to look at the guy, much less get to know him. Still, Diamond has an admirable three terms as commissioner to look back on and a political career in which he was, more often than not, the only guy who knew how to say the word "no."

Best turncoat journalist

Mike Thomas

The Orlando Sentinel's resident Grumbly McGrumblepants, columnist Mike Thomas, caused quite a stir late last year when he jumped from the paper of record into the world of civic flackery. First, he took a gig with the school board (while keeping his writing toes wet in the your living room is awesome world of Orlando Home & Leisure). Then in April came the big surprise. Thomas, an outspoken critic of just about everything involving the county, was hired on in a "top policy adviser" capacity by none other than Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs. When pressured for comment on how it felt to ditch scrutiny in favor of becoming the agenda, Thomas emailed that he wanted to shrink into obscurity. Ironically, shrinking into obscurity pays better than screaming from the top of a mountain. He now makes $87,500 a year. Smart move, Mike!

Best rain check

Come Out With Pride Orlando

We couldn't have been more ready for this year's Pride festivities. We wrote a glowing cover story detailing what we adore about Orlando's LGBT community, we listed the complete roundup of Come Out With Pride events in our pages, and OW's staff was totally prepared to strut our stuff in the annual Pride parade around Lake Eola. And then the skies opened up with a massive downpour the day of the event, soaking everyone's high spirits. Everything was cancelled, and the event was postponed until a month later. The rain date was fun, but it just wasn't the same. Here's hoping the sunshine returns for 2012.

Best implosion

The Amway Arena

On March 25, civic elites and hipsters alike gathered around the windows of downtown high-rises clutching 7 a.m. mimosas to witness the end of an arena era. After a period of stalling, the city finally laced the dynamite throughout the abandoned, old (well, not really old, unless you consider 23 old) Amway Arena and let her rip. Though there were allegedly some unexpected mistakes – a passerby got hit by some rebar, a Channel 13 News reporter was covered in dust when the debris took an unexpected turn in the wind – the whole event was celebrated as a successful new beginning to the Creative Village development that will eventually be built here. Meanwhile, we're left with the a giant wound in the middle of downtown that bears more than a slight resemblance to New York's own Ground Zero post 9/11. Really. It does.

Best stubborn activist effort

Occupy Orlando

It may not get great grades for getting things accomplished, or for coming to consensus on what, exactly, the movement was about. But Occupy Orlando certainly gets an A for effort for exceeding our expectations when it comes to persistence and staying power. The ragtag bunch of activists began their Occupy Wall Street-style protest in October 2011 in Senator Beth Johnson Park. Over the course of weeks, then months, they were ridiculed, arrested, had their stuff taken away by police, were kicked out of the park, then kicked out of a spot they'd adopted outside the Orange County Administration building. Here at OW HQ – where everybody loves a good old-fashioned angry protest mob – we were feeling pretty skeptical about how long these kids could sustain the effort. Months went by and they kept at it, all through the spring. Far longer than anyone would have expected. We haven't seen or heard much from Occupy Orlando lately – their Facebook page is updated sporadically, and last we checked in early July, their website was experiencing a "database error" – but it was a good run while it lasted.

Best local partnership

Full Sail University partners with WWE

We're not exactly sure why we're so tickled about the fact that Full Sail University announced in May that it was partnering with World Wrestling Entertainment to have the school's students tape the wrestling empire's NXT series, in which the newest superstars of wrestling cut their teeth in the sport. Maybe it's the idea of a bunch of tech guys and hipster students working side by side with wrestling badasses like Triple H. Or maybe that WWE execs were quoted by the Orlando Sentinel calling Full Sail a "crazy little university in Orlando." Full Sail tried really hard to pull out all the professional PR moves in its marketing of the partnership – the initial press release made much of the fact that the school was partnering with WWE, an "integrated media organization and recognized leader in global entertainment," but didn't even mention that what we're really talking about here is professional wrestling – the kind of global entertainment in which burly men dress in skimpy singlets and create bizarre characters and storylines about themselves so they can become famous for pummeling other men's faces into the ring. Come on, Full Sail, that's nothing to be afraid of. Own that shit! We can't wait to go to a taping!

Best online squatter

WMFE.com

If you've ever randomly typed in the call letters for local NPR affiliate, WMFE 90.7 FM, into your web browser without the appropriate suffix, you probably already know what we're talking about. Apparently when WMFE was setting up its web presence, it was able to purchase the .org but didn't get the .com. Instead, the "MEGA SITE of Bible prophecy information" scarfed it up and uses it to educate the liberal heathens who accidently stumble across it while trying to find a podcast of "This American Life" or "Fresh Air." "God loves you and is not willing that any should perish," the site kindly informs confused visitors. "You may have typed in a wrong domain name. If so, please retype the domain."

Best swan boat Heist

Dave Matthews Tribute Band comes to Orlando, steals and sinks Lake Eola swan boat

This hilariously mediocre crime could only happen here. In April, members of the Dave Matthews Tribute Band – that is to say, a band that makes its living touring and covering the Dave Matthews Band, under the moniker the Dave Matthews Tribute Band (get it?) – commandeered an irresistible Lake Eola swan boat at 2 in the morning and sunk it in the lake. Apparently, they sunk it pretty good, too – the next morning, the boat was seen upside down in the lake, with its head stuck in the mud. The swan boat was apparently worth anywhere from $2,700 to $10,000, depending on who you talked to, so the city charged the jam-band members with grand theft (!) for the swan boat heist.

Best holiday to celebrate in Orlando

Halloween

What is it about this town that makes Halloween the most eagerly anticipated holiday on the calendar? Every year, as soon as the calendar flips to October, it's like Halloween vomits on Orlando – and not just in a trick-or-treat, all-about-the-kids sort of way. We've got haunted walks in the woods, genuinely frightening haunted houses, dress-up pub crawls, big-money costume contests and zombies. Always with the zombies. If you find downtown Orlando blood-curdling any other time of year, you're sure to find some really scary shit trolling Orange Avenue in the weeks leading up to everyone's favorite pagan celebration.

Best place to buy a house, if you could afford one

Audubon Park Garden District

If you enjoy torturing yourself by lusting after unattainable houses in really great neighborhoods, get ready for the Audubon Park Garden District to break your heart. If you lived here – and it's really too bad about that credit score of yours – you could begin your mornings with coffee at Stardust Video & Coffee and a muffin from Blue Bird Bake Shop. Then you'd spend your midday browsing the book selection at Park Ave CDs, noshing on a rainbow roll from Sushi Lola's and buying potted plants at Palmer's Garden & Goods. Then you could pick up flowers for your sweetheart at Flower No. 5 before heading over to the Monday night Audubon Park Community Market for a locally farmed dinner. With newcomers like Redlight Redlight Beer Parlour and a permanent farmers market moving into a building on Corrine Drive later this year, the neighborhood will soon be more livable – but probably less affordable – than ever.

Best homeless Advocate who's Actually Homeless

Bruce Shawen

Even in the best of circumstances, it's a huge pain in the ass to run for office. When you're homeless, it's practically impossible. Local homeless advocate Bruce Shawen knows. He tried to file to run for city office earlier this year but ended up having to pull out of the race after spending a considerable amount of time trying to fundraise, get signatures on a petition to support his candidacy and find a way to pay the filing fees associated with running a campaign. One thing Shawen didn't take into account when he decided to run was how hard it would be to convince the city that he was actually a city resident – without a permanent address, he wasn't able to prove that he was, and when he tried to get homeless shelters he stayed at to give him proof of residency, he was turned down because of privacy laws that make it illegal for many service agencies to provide any information at all about their clients. Shawen ended up throwing in the towel on his campaign, but before he did, he made sure the local media (and his fellow candidates) were well aware of this new twist on the frustrations and powerlessness of being homelessness.