Holy crap!
We asked you to vote for Orlando's best people, places and things, and did you ever respond. This year we got 2,678 votes in our readers poll, almost 1,000 more than last year and the highest number in the 14 years we"ve been doing this. Good job, people!
Now that we've got you all voting, we'd like you to keep a couple of things in mind for next year's poll:
"Your mom's house" isn't the best adult entertainment store in Orlando; we've been there. And while "Sylvia's bedroom" may be Orlando's best place to work out for one—hell, maybe dozens—of you, it isn't open to the public. For future reference, "Yip-Yip" is a band, not a dog park, miniature golf course, veterinarian or a place to buy seafood. The "Family Christian Bookstore" may be the best place to buy comics, but that's not really what we had in mind. And "The United States" could in fact be the "best country act," in an existential sort of way, but we were going for names of local country musicians , see. "Iraq" isn't a water park. The "Springfield Isotopes" aren't a real sports team. And "your mom's house" isn't the best strip club, either; we've been there, remember?
Also, we'd like to congratulate Aaron Haaland from A Comic Shop on his apparently irresistible powers of persuasion. Haaland managed to convince enough people to vote for him for "best local big shot" to beat out Tiger Woods. Either that or there are just more geeks in Orlando than anyone realized.
Finally, a word on the art in this issue. we've featured the work of five stellar local artists: Doug Rhodehamel, Dolla Bill, Johannah O'donnell, Andrew Spear and Charles Marklin. The crew was hand-picked by our art director because they represent the diversity of Orlando's rich, burgeoning visual-arts direction, and they agreed to work for what we pay. Times are tough.
Combine it all with our dedicated staff's musings on what to see, do, eat and avoid, and you hold in your hands the ultimate guide to the City Beautiful. It's still the original Best of Orlando, and it's still the best.
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select a link below
Best makeover
Orlando Museum of Art logo and website
www.omart.org
Is Orlando's biggest art museum moving toward more contemporary programming, or are they just blowing off the dust? Time will tell, but in the meantime, the museum's new identity brings it into the 21st century. Designed by local agency Push, with back-end web programming by locals Hydra (now Purple Rock Scissors), the simple but sophisticated logo 'is a nod to Bauhaus aesthetics,' says design director Forest Young, in the way it 'points to the triangle/circle/square `and` primary colors as the building blocks for rational design.' The logo is included in 2008's Logo Design, the most recent edition of Taschen's annual collection of the world's best logos, pulling Orlando onto the world design stage. Kudos.
Best dirty-sounding lit mag
Annalemma
www.annalemma.net
It's only a matter of an 'n' and a space that keeps this high-minded literary showcase from being fan-fiction erotica dedicated to Emma Thompson. Winter Park's Chris Heavener has a simple mission: 'to make reading stories exciting again.' Rather than a lecture about how you should read, this semiannual collection offers stuff you'll actually want to, accompanied by some stunning artwork. But a story about Ms. Thompson's backside couldn't hurt.
Best heresy
J.E.S.U.S. Thursdays
Icon Nightclub
20 E. Central Blvd.
www.jesustheparty.com
It's not that it was wrong when beloved local impresario Pauly Crush announced he was saving Thursday nights again (after a nasty breakup with his scene-defining Saturday/Thursdays) with a new residency at Icon bearing the puzzling acronym J.E.S.U.S. Saves. It's that we didn't think of it first. Debuting in February with a cocksure lineup including Kid Sister and Diplo, Crush's night has lived up to its name and helped raise hipster dance from the dead.
Best night for hatin'
Broken Speech Poetry Slam
9:30 p.m. Thursdays
Stardust Video & Coffee
1842 E. Winter Park Road
www.brokenspeech.com
Few events encourage the audience to boo as actively this competition. Poets throw around names like Dick Cheney and Lindsay Lohan like it was the Two-Minutes Hate from 1984. Add to that the scorn heaped on judges who hold up low scores and it's amazing this isn't an all-out brawl. The whole evening is a testament to powerful emotions for the things we cannot change.
Best new music festival
Orange You Glad Fest
www.orangeyougladfest.com
Six participating venues and over 60 acts gave this new off-downtown festival a scale large enough to be a real event, but small enough to be personal. OYG's greatest accomplishment, however, is how brightly it underscored this area's indie talent. Its mission to celebrate and advance our indigenous scene makes it a tremendous development. The strong attendance it drew makes it a contender.
Best gallery for artists
Bold Hype
1844 E. Winter Park Road
407-629-2965
www.boldhype.net
There's a different sensibility about world-traveled Eric Althin and his wife, Shannon (both of Zombieduck Productions), who opened Bold Hype Gallery and quickly made inroads with starving locals due to their extremely generous commission policy. Bold Hype is like a neutral ground in the battle of frustration between talent and buyers. No wonder: Althin is from the neutral country of Sweden. The creative couple's strategy so far has been to move exhibits in and out that make the most of their relationships with local, regional and national artists. When artists are happy, so are their collectors.
Best battle of the bands
Happy Valley versus Watch Me Disappear
Feb. 13, Copper Rocket Pub
Almost without exception, band battles blow. But the head-to-head contest conceived by Sleepy Bird Orphanage label honcho Phil Siegenthaler is how you do it right. Battle? Screw that. Cage match is more like it. Choose two bands, put 'em both onstage at the same time, and have 'em throw songs back and forth like haymakers. Sprinkle it with challenges in guitar, drums and covers, top it off with an all-in jam, and watch the sparks fly.
Best comeback venue
Will's Pub
1042 N. Mills Ave.
407-898-5070
myspace.com/willspub
Entire scenes can change in the span of two years. But proof that Will's Pub is permanently etched in Orlando's DNA is how immediately version 2.0 rose to prominence as a top live venue and regained its status as a community institution. Rather than being a pale shadow of former glory, it's already become a new force and a major player that's changed the landscape of local music and nightlife.
Best response to tough economic times
Free shows at Bar-BQ-Bar
64 N. Orange Ave.
407-648-5441
myspace.com/6295627
Hipster haven Bar-BQ-Bar may not always give a shit about providing good service, but it does always show concern for your wallet. And if slinging the cheapest hooch in the downtown area weren't enough already, the bar has started to feature free live shows again. Though somewhat intermittent, these weekday concerts are tastefully curated by the music-minded staff for quality and cred.
Best place for an arts district
Orlando Loch Haven Park
900 E. Princeton St.
407-246-2287
www.cityoforlando.net/fpr/net/t_Park Rec.aspx?Park=213_2
It's a trick question — the 45-acre Loch Haven Park already exists at the end of the 'cultural corridor' created by former Mayor Glenda Hood. It's home to: Orlando Shakespeare Theater, Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra, Orlando Fire Museum, Orlando Museum of Art, Orlando Science Center, Orlando Repertory Theatre and Mennello Museum of American Art. Events planted there among the oak trees include the Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival, PlayFest, Orlando Folk Festival, Target Family Theatre Festival, Pet Fair and the Council of 101 Festival of Trees. The city website link (above) makes no mention of all this, so maybe they need reminding.
Best performance artist
Brian Feldman
www.brianfeldman.com
That Brian Feldman can do anything at any time of day or night and call it 'art' makes him the worthy subject of an investigation into how 21st-century performance art has been infected by social networks. What does Feldman do for fun? Has he remained pure? Does he accept sponsorships? What's his fascination with Twitter and lightsabers? At any rate, the brainy art dude needs to be captured, tagged and documented before being released back into the wild.
Best art-event space for people who can't be bothered to dress up
The Orange Studio
1121 N. Mills Ave.
407-898-7299
www.sayitloud.us
When proprietor Julio Lima first decided to make a neighborhood statement by turning his quiet design business, Say It Loud, into a giant orange head-turner, area residents balked. But after about a year or so of repurposing, including renting out the ample studio space in the back to local artists, the Orange Studio has become something of a hipster art space for the skinny-jeans set, and also one of the best places in town for quick-plan events that involve smoke machines, skate ramps and occasional liquor sponsorships (lesson learned here: Absinthe is gross). In a town full of stuffy galleries and monthly mingles, Lima keeps the beauty of creativity where it belongs: at the ground level.
Best musical liaison
Tierney Tough
myspace.com/thepauses
The best are willing to throw down a gauntlet for themselves. This past May, that's exactly what Pauses vocalist and source of undying support Tierney Tough did when she organized and delivered the Orange You Glad music fest. She also recently took hold of the Will's Pub reins in terms of scheduling and promoting their concerts, and is omnipresent at the various Facey spaces and Tweety pages shouting out l ocal music.
Best place for a fake punk show taping for a fake reality show
The Peacock Room
1321 N. Mills Ave.
407-228-0048
www.thepeacockroom.com
In its short history of being all things to all people — it's not a gay bar, but it's not not a gay bar, either — the Peacock Room has remained the perfect watering hole for those miles above the poverty line to mix with those who eat baked beans for dinner: real estate agents, lawyers, DJs and painters can all share a common bond in liquor. But last November, the Peacock transformed its typically well-kept feathers into an unexpectedly fantastic spectacle for ABC's Wife Swap, wherein precocious children and a crrrrrrrazy mom in a purple wig tried to re-enact the sweat and urine of CBGB's in front of a coached crowd, all mouthing along to 'Breaking the Law' while the sun still shone outside. There is only one word for this sort of planar intersection, and that word is 'Orlando.'
Best saving grace
Timucua White House
2000 S. Summerlin Ave.
407-851-2847
www.timucua.com
The performance space in Benoit Glazer's home is exquisite, from the brick walls around the stage to the seating balconies to the lighting on the visual artwork. Fill that with the noise of some of the best jazz, classical and experimental acts active today, and we can thank god the musical director for Cirque du Soleil and his musically prodigious family invite the public to share this gift for free. It's a simple, classy gesture that keeps Orlando from being the cultural wasteland everyone thinks it is.
Best people-watching
Backstage
The Rosen Plaza Hotel
9700 International Drive
407-996-9700
www.rosenplaza.com/backstage
To be honest, we debated letting you in on Orlando's best-kept secret. This place is a guilty pleasure, and we're a bit hesitant about tipping you irony-drenched hipster kids to its awesomeness. But alas, this is our job. Backstage is a little bar holed up inside the Rosen Plaza Hotel, across the street from Pointe Orlando, and it is the very definition of Tourist Hell. We mean that in the best possible way. This place has it all: a cover band enthusiastically playing terrible music; drunken tourists writhing on the dance floor in a disgusting, hilarious pseudo-sexual manner; and best of all, a complete lack of self-awareness. It's a hell of a way to spend a Friday night; at least, until the locals find out about it. Oh. Shit.
Best Art Gallery
1st: Bold Hype, 1844 E. Winter Park Road, 407-629-2965, www.boldhype.net
2nd: CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-7060, www.cityartsfactory.com
3rd: Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-4231, www.omart.org
Best Arts Advocate
1st: Beth Marshall
2nd: Margot Knight
3rd (tie): Anna McCambridge
3rd (tie): Bold Hype
Best Dance Troupe
1st: Voci Dance, www.vocidance.org
2nd: VarieTease, myspace.com/vtease
3rd: Orlando Ballet, www.orlandoballet.org
Best Festival
1st: Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival, www.orlandofringe.org
2nd: Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival, www.wpsaf.org
3rd: Florida Film Festival, www.floridafilmfestival.com
Best Museum
1st: Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-4231, www.omart.org
2nd: Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St., 407-514-2000, www.osc.org
3rd: The Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-5311, www.morsemuseum.org
Best Theater Troupe
1st: SAK Comedy Lab, 380 W. Amelia St., 407-648-0001, www.sak.com
2nd: Orlando Shakespeare Theater 812 E. Rollins St., 407-447-1700, www.orlandoshakes.org
3rd: Mad Cow Theatre, 105 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-297-8788, www.madcowtheatre.com
Best Thespian
1st: Philip Nolen
2nd: Brian Feldman, www.brianfeldman.com
3rd: Beth Marshall
Best Movie Theater
1st: Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-629-0054, www.enzian.org
2nd: Regal Winter Park Village 20, 510 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0035
3rd: AMC Loews Universal Cineplex 20, Universal CityWalk, 407-354-3374
Best Karaoke
1st: Big Daddy's Roadhouse, 3001 Corrine Drive, 407-644-2844
2nd: O'Shucks Pub & Billiards, 7467 International Drive, 407-352-7892, www.oshuckspub.com
3rd: Rising Star Karaoke Bar, Universal CityWalk, 407-224-2189
Best Strip Club
1st: Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, myspace.com/dancers_royale
2nd: Rachel's Adult Entertainment & Steakhouse, 401 E. State Road 436, Casselberry, 407-767-2977, www.rachels.com
3rd: Thee Doll House, 5570 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-858-1319
Best Club DJ
1st: DJ Pauly Crush, myspace.com/paulycrush
2nd: DJ Kittybat, myspace.com/thekittybat
3rd: DJ Y-NOT, myspace.com/djynot
Best Club Night
1st: Crush, Mondays at Back Booth, 37 W. Pine St., 407-999-2570, www.backbooth.com
2nd: Grits & Gravy, Tuesdays at Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-839-0457, www.independentbar.net
3rd: Torque, Mondays at Crooked Bayou, 50 E. Central Blvd., 407-839-5852, www.crookedbayou.com
Best Open Mic
1st: Austin's Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-3364, www.austinscoffee.com
2nd: Broken Speech Poetry Slam, Thursdays at Stardust Video & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, www.brokenspeech.com
3rd: Natura Coffee and Tea, 12078 Collegiate Way, 407-482-5000, myspace.com/naturacoffeeandtea
Best Live Music Club
1st: The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave., 407-246-1419, www.thesocial.org
2nd: Back Booth, 37 W. Pine St., 407-999-2570, www.backbooth.com
3rd: Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-5070, myspace.com/willspub
Best Country Act
1st: Thomas Wynn & the Believers, myspace.com/thomaswynnandthebelievers
2nd: Jim Van Fleet & the Reign, www.jimvanfleet.net
3rd: Hindu Cowboys, www.hinducowboys.com
Best Electronic Act
1st: Yip-Yip, www.yip-yip.com
2nd: DNF Music, www.dnfmusic.com
3rd: Attachedhands, myspace.com/attachedhands
Best Experimental Act
1st: Yip-Yip, www.yip-yip.com
2nd: Brian Feldman, www.brianfeldman.com
3rd: The Future on Films in Space, myspace.com/thefutureonfilmsinspace
Best Folk Act
1st: Matt Butcher, myspace.com/mattbutchermusic
2nd: Tommy Treadway, www.tommytreadway.com
3rd: Chris Burns, www.chrisburnscbradio.com
Best Hip-Hop Act
1st: Solillaquists of Sound, www.solilla.com
2nd (tie): Cracker Jackson, myspace.com/crackerjackson
2nd (tie): Not Them!, myspace.com/notthemmusic
3rd (tie): Rubox, myspace.com/ruboxcube
3rd (tie): MidaZ the Beast, www.midazthebeast.com
Best Indie Act
1st: Chris Burns, www.chrisburnscbradio.com
2nd: Mumpsy, www.mumpsy.com
3rd: Band Marino, www.bandmarino.net
Best Jazz Act
1st: Sam Rivers, www.samrivers.com
2nd: Shak Nasti, myspace.com/shaknasti
3rd: The Absinthe Trio, myspace.com/acidjazztheabsinthe
Best Latin Act
1st: Latin Express
2nd: Urbe Prima, myspace.com/urbeprima
3rd: Abdias Garcia, www.abdiasgarcia.com
Best Mainstream Rock Act
1st: Thomas Wynn & the Believers, myspace.com/thomaswynnandthebelievers
2nd: Megaphone, www.megaphonemusic.net
3rd: Junkie Rush, www.junkierush.com
Best Metal Act
1st (tie): Empyrean, myspace.com/empyrean
1st (tie): Khann, myspace.com/khannn
2nd: Gargamel!, www.gargamel.net
3rd (tie): Fields of Glass, myspace.com/fieldsofglass
3rd (tie): Pain Principle, www.painprinciple.org
Best Pop Act
1st: Mumpsy, www.mumpsy.com
2nd: Megaphone, www.megaphonemusic.net
3rd: So Help Me Rifle, myspace.com/sohelpmerifle
Best Punk Act
1st: Idols End, myspace.com/idolsendmusic
2nd: Tooth and the Enamels, myspace.com/toothandtheenamels
3rd: The Attack, myspace.com/attackmusic
Best Reggae/Ska Act
1st: The Supervillains, www.thesupervillains.com
2nd: Mystik NRG, www.mystiknrg.com
3rd: The Caribbean Crew, www.cocobeanproductions.com/carribean-crew
Best Soul Act
1st: The Legendary JC's, www.Thejointchiefs.com
2nd (tie): The Gerry Williams Band, myspace.com/gerrywilliamsmusic
2nd (tie): Peter Baldwin, myspace.com/peterbaldwinrocks
3rd (tie): Kaleigh Baker, myspace.com/kaleighbaker
3rd (tie): Thomas Wynn & the Believers, myspace.com/thomaswynnandthebelievers
3rd (tie): Solillaquists of Sound, www.solilla.com
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Best cupcake
; Blue Bird Bake Shop
;available at Pom Pom's Teahouse & Sandwicheria, Seven Sisters Coffeehouse, Trish's Teas or through Foodie Catering
;407-256-3420
;www.bluebirdbakeshop.com
The cupcake trend is so over in L.A. and New York (doughnuts are the new thing, according to our informants), but you can rely on Orlando to cling to a trend well past its expiration date. Not past their expiration date are the fresh and delicious creations of Jeff Lambert's Blue Bird Bake Shop, like Lime in d'Coconut (tart lime-coconut cake with coconut buttercream icing, rolled in toasted coconut), Grasshopper (chocolate-chocolate-chip cake with crème de menthe icing, topped with chocolate shavings) and Banana Remix (banana-chocolate-chip cake with peanut-butter icing, topped with salted peanuts). Old faves like red velvet and carrot cake are expertly executed as well.
;Best vegan barbecue
; Ethos Vegan Kitchen VBBQ
;1235 N. Orange Ave.
;407-228-3898
;www.ethosvegankitchen.com
Veggies got it rough: No standing around the grill licking their chops over delicious charred meats. (Boca Burgers and Smart Dogs just aren't the same.) Ethos to the rescue! At their once-a-month weekend VBBQ, an all-vegan version of the classic American tradition, owner Kelly Shockley indulges his inner '50s dad with seitan "ribs," skewers and sloppy joes, baked beans, corn on the cob and watermelon. Also, there's plenty of beer and live bands, all out on the shady tiled patio.
;;Best place to read at the table
; El Coqui Mexicano
;2406 E. Washington St.
;407-601-4928
The proximity of the Book Worm used bookstore (2400 E. Washington St., 407-898-7888; www.thebookwormoforlando.com) to our favorite new Mexican–Puerto Rican restaurant makes for an affordable bonanza of bad table manners. The recent afternoon on which we scored a used copy of Paul Auster's New York Trilogy at the Book Worm and then a plate of mofongo at El Coqui was a red-letter day; we don't get out much.
;;Best place to put a spell on your dining partner
; Arepas & More Cafe
;207 N. Bumby Ave.
;407-894-5262
;www.arepasandmore.com
Botanica Obatala
;203 N. Bumby Ave.
;407-897-6044
To your left, Arepas & More's Venezuelan delicacies (empanadas, arepas and arroz con pollo like abuela used to make). To your right, Botanica Obatala's vodoun necessities (magical herbs, blessing candles, religious statuettes). Pity the fool who cuts in line while you're ordering your chicken-and-avocado arepa; it's straight next door to the botanica for a packet of Black Cat hex powder. On the other hand, if the sparks are flying in a good way, a Chango Macho or Come to Me candle might seal the deal.
;;Best fast track to self-loathing
; Whopper Bar
;6000 Universal Blvd.
;888-832-7155
;bkwhopperbar.com
Burger King's Whopper sandwich is nearly perfect in its moody execution; it can be Angry, Dark or a Meat Beast (those last two only overseas). This year, Universal CityWalk took it one step further: They made it glamorous with the first BK "Whopper Bar." Patrons can customize their burgers with any or all of the "premium" toppings, like A1 steak sauce, peppered bacon, porcini mushrooms and guacamole, or indulge in the exclusive Bourbon Whopper. Don't worry, the booths are bigger here.
; Best cheesecake
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Andrea Quality Cheesecake & Café
;6020 Edgewater Drive
;407-291-2490
;www.andreacheesecake.com
Since 1983, Andrea has refused to judge us for our drive-time cravings. The little bakery with the pink door and its made-from-scratch concoctions is always there for you, whether you forgot a Valentine's day present or you like a little Kahlúa with your cream cheese.
;;Best summer roll
; Little Saigon Restaurant
;1106 E. Colonial Drive
;407-423-8539
;www.littlesaigonrestaurant.com
The $2.50-for-two summer rolls (not fried spring rolls) are next to godliness at established Vietnamese restaurant Little Saigon, particularly when dipped and wagged in the sacred peanut sauce. The silky rice wrap covers a perfect crunch of lettuce, rice vermicelli, shrimp, pork and herbs, plus that signature blade of garlic chive. The blend of thick, sweet brown goo and clean, fresh crispness makes for a yin-and-yang connection.
;;Best Guinness
; Bull & Bush
;2408 E. Robinson St.
;407-896-7546
Guinness has a list of mildly pretentious rules for pouring their stout. Fortunately, Bull & Bush follows them all; it's; more habit than training for Heidi and crew at this British darts pub. The mother's milk of ; beers is served only after the perfect amount of settling, standing like a tall, dark stranger with the logo on the glass toward the customer and a head ; so creamy they can draw a clover ;in it. Sucks when it's gone, but they're happy to pour another.
;;Best cheap-ass tapas
; El Coqui Mexicano
;2406 E. Washington St.
;407-601-4928
The idea behind tapas is to build a full meal out of a series of small items. The trouble comes when each item costs more than a blue plate special. El Coqui's menu, a mix of Puerto Rican and Mexican dishes, might seem light until it's sitting in your belly and you're smiling at the check. Piled-high sopes and tortillas for $4.50 make this cheaper than your average Taco Bell trip, and light-years more digestible.
;;Best lamb on a spit
; Mediterranean Deli
;981 W. Fairbanks Ave.
;407-539-2650
;myspace.com/med_deli
Owner and chef Walaid Ali, a former weightlifter from Armenia, buys his lamb fresh and seasons and roasts it on a countertop rotisserie, so his home-style restaurant always smells of spicy seared meat. It feels kind of primitive when the well-muscled Ali, wearing his weight belt, carves off hunks of meat for the overstuffed gyros ($4.99), but customers receive the benefit of his generosity. The same devotion goes for Ali's baklava, made fresh daily.
;;Best two-drink business breakfast
; White Wolf Café
;1829 N. Orange Ave.
;407-895-9911
;www.whitewolfcafe.com
Who knew that when esteemed local marble-table café White Wolf opened its doors to early risers, it would become the best place to shamelessly nurse your drinking needs at the crack of dawn? The festivities start at 7 a.m. on weekdays (which is like Wally's-awesome) with rather inexpensive diner fare to absorb your Bloody Mary, then your Cape Cod. You can show up in a suit, talk about really important business things, get drunk and still smell of success (with a little bit of cologne, anyway). Stocks are down, so bottoms up!
;;Best place to repent your sins while eating pasta
; The Pope Room at Buca di Beppo
;1351 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland
;407-622-7663
;www.bucadibeppo.com
Buca di Beppo is a slightly contrived chain restaurant known for "family-sized" portions of Italian fare, awkward kitchen tours with fake Italian accents, and a maze-like layout that guarantees you get lost every time you go to the bathroom. But there's something charming about the inglorious religious kitsch of its signature "Pope Room." There, in the middle of a lazy Susan atop a giant round table, sits the pope's head sealed in glass. It's not the real pope's head, but the staff has at least made sure that it is a replica of the current pope's head. Pope Benedict XVI just sitting there and staring at you while you gorge your face with manicotti is worth the heartburn alone.
;;Best vegan pancakes
; Ethos Vegan Kitchen
;1235 N. Orange Ave.
;407-228-3898
;www.ethosvegankitchen.com
Ethos' pancakes are like crack: one taste and you've got a decision to make. Do you throw it all over for a life of chasing that mind-bending first time? Or do you spend the rest of your days in denial? Choose wisely. You could end up slobbering over the very thought of brunch at Ethos, tapping on the table nervously until your flapjacks arrive. And they make them without eggs or milk!
;;Best mind control with your soup
; Loving Hut
;2101 E. Colonial Drive
;407-894-5673
;www.lovinghut.us/florida/
It starts with a singsong greeting when you walk in the door. Why are they so happy to see you? It continues as you munch on the (admittedly delicious) vegan fare. How can Sea Wonders be so wonderful without anything from the sea in them? Then you notice that all the TVs are tuned to the "Supreme Master" channel. "Bright House doesn't carry that station," you mutter. But it's too late. Supreme Master Ching Hai has entered your subconscious. Soon you will renounce meat, alcohol and porn, and spend all your money buying her line of jewelry and clothing. And all you wanted was a steaming bowl of pho.
;;Best beer for a blackout
; Heaven and Hell at Redlight Redlight
;745 Bennett Road
;4;07-893-9832
;myspace.com/theredlightredlight
Admission: We love Redlight Redlight. Problem: Every so often, when we're contemplating a first-class bender, this world-renowned beer bar doesn't have the two key components of this amazingly ass-kicking blackout-maker – Dogfish Head 120-minute IPA and World Wide Stout – in stock. But when it is, look out. The combination of the two high-gravity beers is both sweet and debilitating, and can leave you with both the world's worst hangover and a hazy memory. Totally worth it.
;Best antidote to Jimmy John's
; Philly Style Hoagies and Deli
; 223 N. Magnolia Ave.
;407-423-0123
What the hell is wrong with you people? Jimmy John's shows up and downtown goes berserk for greasy cold cuts on white bread rolls. Yes, fast service and free delivery can cover for a lot of sins. But do yourself a solid and take the road less traveled to Magnolia Avenue, where you will find Philly Style. There the bread is fresh and crusty, the menu is creative, and each sandwich is lovingly assembled to order, not slapped together on a minimum-wage assembly line seconds after the order leaves your mouth. Fast does not equal good.
;;Best strip-mall Mexican
; Tacos el Rancho
;4433 Hoffner Ave.
;407-438-8777
;www.myspace.com/tacoselrancho
You wouldn't expect a little place in a strip mall by the airport to offer some of the best, most authentic Mexican food around. But it does. Try the marinated pork salad ($5.59), the carnitas burritos ($5.75) or the chips and homemade guacamole ($1.60) and tell us we're not right.
;;Best soup
; Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar
;444 N. Bumby Ave.
;407-893-4994
;www.drunkenmonkeycoffee.com
Soup helped Americans survive the Great Depression, and Drunken Monkey's John Couch is doing his part to provide a little slurpy comfort to jobless, angst-ridden and down-and-out Floridians during these particularly troubled times. His soup cred is legendary, at least among in-the-know locals who've long sampled his brothy comestibles at the College Park and Lake Eola farmers markets. Vegan soups (like curry-infused split-pea dal, creole tomato, "cream" of spinach and artichoke, and hearty hari amavardi with sweet potatoes and carrots) are his specialty, but he makes sure never to exclude carnivores; his buffalo chicken soup is a palliative for the times.
;Best drunk food
; Panino's Pizza & Grill
;21 S. Orange Ave.
;407-999-7701
;www.paninosorlando.com
When grease joins alcohol for a midnight dip in a drunkard's bloodstream, the pair seems to be a match made in heaven – until the realization that "heaven" is presided over by a porcelain god. But ignorance is bliss prior to spewing, and so are Panino's calzones, strombolis and pizza slices, all of which are better than those of the other Orange Avenue–area pizza joints. The hearty fare satiates, lubricates and, for the fortunate, propitiates the angry tum. An added perk: Watching drunks descend the stairs from the second-floor seating area.
;;Best old school ice cream stand
; Twistee Treat
;11524 S. Orange Blossom Trail
;407-888-8651
Forget Cold Stone and Marble Slab creameries with their contempo digs and overpriced ice cream. Twistee Treat delivers cool confections with a scoopful of nostalgia, and with less than a handful remaining in the city, they're a dying breed. Inside the iconic building shaped like a soft-serve ice cream cone are diligent disseminators of every imaginable frozen sweet: sundaes, shakes, malts, splits, slushies, fro-yo, ice crunch coffees, ice cream sandwiches and flavored freezers. Our fave: a vanilla-chocolate swirl dipped in chocolate and served in a waffle cone.
;;Best noodle house
; Tasty Wok BBQ & Noodle House
;1246 E. Colonial Drive
;407-896-8988
Restaurant inspectors may frequent Tasty Wok more often than we'd like, but when you master a cooking technique – noodles, in TW's case – turning a blind eye for your mouth's sake is well worth the risk. Be it crispy pan-fried threads of curry-infused Singapore rice noodles, or the swell of thick, flat chow fun noodles smothered with glistening beef, you'll savor each and every lubricious bite. Noodle soups come in thin vermicelli, thick rice-noodle or egg-noodle varieties and are meals unto themselves.
;;Best churrasco
; Padrino's Cuban Bistro
;13586 S. John Young Parkway
;407-251-5107
;www.padrinosbistro.com
When it comes to churrasco – that long, flat cut of char-grilled skirt steak – attaining a velveteen succulence is of paramount importance to enjoying the pan-Latin staple, and no one does it better than Padrino's Cuban Bistro. The skirt steak is marinated in tangy chimichurri, grilled, propped on its side and folded around a mound of white rice for an aesthetic plating. It's almost a shame to mar the presentation with fork and knife.
;;;;;; ;;;;
Best Bakery
1st: Charlie's ; Gourmet Pastries, 3213 Curry Ford Road, 407-898-9561, www.charliesgourmetpastries.com
; 2nd: Publix Bakery, multiple locations, www.publix.com
; 3rd: Panera Bread, multiple locations, www.panerabread.com
Best Barbecue
1st: Bubbalou's ; Bodacious BBQ, multiple locations, www.bubbalous.com
; 2nd: Sonny's Real ; Pit Bar-B-Q, multiple locations, www.sonnysbbq.com
; 3rd: O'Boys Bar-B-Q, 565 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-478-6269, 3138 S. Orange Ave., 407-447-7404, www.oboysbbq.net
Best Breakfast/Brunch
1st: First Watch, multiple locations, www.firstwatch.com
;2nd: Dexter's, multiple locations, www.dexwine.com
;3rd: Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-3898, www.ethosvegankitchen.com
Best Burger
1st: Five Guys Burgers and Fries, multiple locations, www.fiveguys.com
;2nd: Johnny's Fillin' Station, 2631 S. Ferncreek Ave., 407-894-6900, www.johnnysfillinstation.com
;3rd: Hamburger Mary's;Bar & Grille, 110 W. Church St., 321-319-0600, www.hamburgermarys-orlando.com
Best Caribbean
1st: Bahama Breeze, multiple locations, www.bahamabreeze.com
; 2nd: Caribbean Sunshine Bakery;multiple locations, www.caribbeansunshinebakery.net
;3rd (tie): Singh's Roti Shop, 5812 Old Winter Garden Road, 407-447-3447
;3rd (tie): Millie's Jamaican Café, 12273 University Blvd., 407-382-3570
Best Chinese
1st: P.F. Chang's ; China Bistro,; 436 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-0188, 4200 Conroy Road, 407-345-2888, www.pfchangs.com
; 2nd: Panda Bistro, 12014 E. Colonial Drive, 407-282-8333, www.orlandopandabistro.com
; 3rd: Garden Café, 810 W. Colonial Drive, 407-999-9799, www.gardencafevege.com
Best Coffeehouse
1st: Stardust Video ; & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, myspace.com/stardustvideoandcoffee
; 2nd: Starbucks Coffee, multiple locations, www.starbucks.com
; 3rd: Austin's Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-3364, www.austinscoffee.com
Best Diner
1st: Junior's Diner, 2920 Corrine Drive, 407-894-8871
;2nd: Christo's Café, 1815 Edgewater Drive, 407-425-8136
;3rd: Brian's Restaurant, 1409 N. Orange Ave., 407-896-9912
Best Doughnuts
1st: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, multiple locations, www.krispykreme.com
;2nd: Dunkin' Donuts, multiple locations, www.dunkindonuts.com
;3rd: The Fat Vegan, myspace.com/thefatvegan
Best French
1st: Le Coq Au Vin, 4800 S. Orange Ave., 407-851-6980, www.lecoqauvinrestaurant.com
;2nd: Café de France, 526 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-1869, www.lecafedefrance.com
;3rd: Chez Vincent, 533 W. New England Ave., ;Winter Park, 407-599-2929, www.chezvincent.com
Best Greek
1st: The Greek Corner, 1600 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-0303, www.thegreekcorner.net
;2nd: Taverna Opa, Pointe Orlando, 9101 International Drive, 407-351-8660, www.opaorlando.com
;3rd: Athena Café, 1140 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-830-0707
Best Ice Cream Shop
1st: Cold Stone Creamery, multiple locations, www.coldstonecreamery.com
; 2nd: Jeremiah's ;Italian Ice, multiple locations, www.jeremiahsice.com
;3rd: Marble Slab Creamery, multiple locations, www.marbleslab.com
Best Indian
1st: Woodlands ; Indian Cuisine, 6040 S. Orange ; Blossom Trail, 407-854-3330
; 2nd: Memories of India, 7625 Turkey Lake Road, 407-370-3277
; 3rd: Kohinoor Indian Restaurant, 249 W. State Road 436, ; Altamonte Springs, 407-788-6004, www.kohinoorindianresaturant.com
Best Irish
1st: Fiddler's Green Irish Pub & Eatery, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, www.fiddlersgreenorlando.com
;2nd: The Harp & Celt Restaurant and Irish Pub, 25 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-481-2927, www.harpandcelt.com
;3rd: Scruffy Murphy's ;Irish Pub, 2625 Edgewater Drive, 407-835-7150, www.scruffymurphysorlando.com
Best Italian
1st: Il Pescatore, 651 N. Primrose Drive, 407-896-6763, www.ilpescatoreonline.com
; 2nd: Antonio's, 611 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-645-1035, 7559 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-363-9191, www.antoniosonline.com
; 3rd: Bravissimo ;Italian Café, 337 N. Shine Ave., 407-898-7333, www.cafebravissimo.com
Best Late-Night Restaurant
1st: Pom Pom's Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, www.pompomsteahouse.com
;2nd: Denny's, multiple locations, www.dennys.com
;3rd: Steak 'n Shake, multiple locations, www.steaknshake.com
Best Latin
1st: Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., ;Winter Park, 407-628-0294
;2nd: El Coqui Mexicano, 1406 E. Washington St., 407-601-4298
;3rd: Numero Uno Restaurant, 2499 S. Orange Ave., 866-495-7187, www.numero-uno-restaurant.com
Best Mexican
1st: Garibaldi's Mexican Restaurant, 929 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-5035
;2nd: Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, www.tijuanaflats.com
;3rd: PR's Taco Palace, 499 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2225
Best Middle Eastern
1st: Tony's Deli, 1323 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-6689
;2nd: Bosphorus, 108 S. Park Ave., ;Winter Park, 407-644-8609, www.bosphorousrestaurant.com
;3rd: Cedar's Restaurant of Orlando, 7732 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-351-6000, www.cedarsoforlando.com
Best Pizza
1st: Anthony's Pizzeria & Italian Restaurant, 100 N. Summerlin Ave., 407-648-0009, www.anthonyspizza.com
;2nd: Mellow Mushroom, 11680 E. Colonial Drive, 407-384-4455, 2015 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-657-7755, www.mellowmushroom.com
;3rd: Gino's Pizza & Brew, multiple locations, www.ginospizzaandbrew.com
Best Smoothies
1st: Planet Smoothie, multiple locations, www.planetsmoothie.com
; 2nd: Tropical ;Smoothie Café, multiple locations, www.tropicalsmoothie.com
;3rd: Smoothie King, multiple locations, www.smoothieking.com
Best Southern/Soul Food
1st: Johnson's Diner, 595 W. Church St., 407-841-0717, www.johnsonsdiner.com
; 2nd: Mama Nems' Soul ;Food Restaurant, 805 S. Kirkman Road, 407-253-7744, www.mamanemssoulfood.com
;3rd: Uncle Jones Bar-B-Que, 1370 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-260-2425
Best Steakhouse
1st: Del Frisco's, 729 Lee Road, 407-645-4443, www.delfriscosorlando.com
; 2nd: Ruth's Chris ;Steak House, multiple locations, www.ruthschris.com
;3rd: Charley's Steak House, 6107 S. Orange ;Blossom Trail, 407-851-7130, 8225 International Drive, 407-363-0228, www.talkofthetownrestaurants.com
Best Subs
1st: Publix, multiple locations, www.publix.com
;2nd: Subway, multiple locations, www.subway.com
;3rd: Firehouse Subs, multiple locations, www.firehouse.com
Best Sushi
1st: Amura, ;multiple locations, www.amura.com;
;2nd: Fuji Sushi, multiple locations
;3rd: Seito Sushi, multiple locations, www.seitosushi.com
Best Teahouse
1st: Pom Pom's Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, www.pompomsteahouse.com
; 2nd: Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, www.infusionorlando.com
; 3rd: Dandelion ;Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, www.dandelioncommunitea.com
Best Thai
1st: SEA Thai, 3812 E. Colonial Drive, 407-895-0985, www.seaorlando.com
;2nd: Thai House, 2117 E. Colonial Drive, 407-898-0820
;3rd: Royal Thai, 1202 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-0776, www.royalthai-orlando.com
Best Vegetarian/Vegan
1st: Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-3898, www.ethosvegankitchen.com
;2nd: Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, www.dandelioncommunitea.com
;3rd: Loving Hut, 2101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-5673, www.lovinghut.us/florida
Best Vietnamese
1st: Little Saigon Restaurant, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, www.littlesaigonrestaurant.com;
;2nd: Pho 88 Vietnamese Restaurant, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, www.pho88orlando.com
;3rd: Viet Garden, 1237-1239 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-4154, www.vietgardenorlando.com
Best Wings
1st: Gator's Dockside, multiple locations, www.gatorsdockside.com
;2nd: Buffalo Wild Wings, multiple locations, www.buffalowildwings.com
;3rd: Ker's WingHouse ;Bar & Grill, multiple locations, www.winghouse.com
Best Dive Bar
1st: Wally's Mills ; Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975,
; 2nd: Bar-BQ-Bar, 64 N. Orange Ave., 407-648-5441
; 3rd: Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-5070, myspace.com/willspub
Best Drunken ; Hook-up Bar
1st: Bar-BQ-Bar, ;64 N. Orange Ave., 407-648-5441
;2nd: Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-839-0457, www.independentbar.net
;3rd: The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-7571, www.parliamenthouse.com
Best Gay Bar
1st: The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-7571, www.parliamenthouse.com
;2nd: Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave., 407-649-3888, www.pulseorlando.com
;3rd: Revolution Nightclub, 375 S. Bumby Ave., 407-228-9900, www.revolutionorlando.com
Best Happy Hour
1st: Antigua Nightclub, 41 W. Church St., 407-649-4270
;2nd: Chili's Grill & Bar, multiple locations, www.chilis.com
;3rd: Eden Bar at Enzian, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-629-1088, www.enzian.org
Best Lesbian Bar
1st: Revolution Nightclub, 375 S. Bumby Ave., 407-228-9900, www.revolutionorlando.com
;2nd: Faces (CLOSED), 4910 Edgewater Drive, 407-291-7571
;3rd: Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave., 407-649-3888, www.pulseorlando.com
Best Pub
1st: Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-5070, myspace.com/willspub
;2nd: Fiddler's Green, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, www.fiddlersgreenorlando.com
;3rd: O'Shucks Pub & Billiards, 7467 International Drive, 407-352-7892, www.oshuckspub.com
Best Sports Bar
1st: Miller's Ale House, multiple locations, www.millersalehouse.com
;2nd: The Clubhouse Sports Bar & Restaurant, ;100 E. Pine St., 407-447-5225, 7572 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-363-9103, www.orlandoclubhouse.com
;3rd: Buffalo Wild Wings, multiple locations, www.buffalowildwings.com
Best Wine Bar
1st: Eola Wine Company, 500 E. Central Blvd., 407-481-9100, 136 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-9103, www.eolawinecompany.com
; 2nd: The Wine Room ; on Park Avenue, 270 S. Park Ave., ; Winter Park, 407-696-9463, www.thewineroomonline.com
; 3rd: Funky Monkey ; Wine Company, 912 N. Mills Ave., 407-427-1447, www.funkymonkeywine.com
select a link below
Best lay
Fresh eggs from Oviedo
Audubon Park Community Market
Wednesday evenings at Stardust Video & Coffee
apmarket.wordpress.com
Not yet a year old, the weekly Audubon Park sustainable-living market caught on quickly, proof positive of what the group calls an 'organic community in the works.' The eggs are the freshest to be found in town without raiding a coop. Laid in Oviedo, a recent dozen ($3.75) included brown eggs, white eggs, a really cool greenish one, a laughable peewee and several minis with shells as hard as a rock. (4 p.m.-9 p.m. Wednesday at Stardust Video & Coffee parking lot; summer hours 6 p.m.-10 p.m.)
Best place to buy thank-you cards
The R. Nichols Shop
3131 Corrine Drive
407-628-4899
www.r-nichols.com
Nick Hanzlik's quirky paper-cut stationery has been all the rage amongst fashionistas since his first collection sold out at Barneys a decade ago. Now he's opened a mod, breezy shop populated with his signature glamorous dog-walkers, tree-trimmers and shoe-shoppers, emblazoned on cards, cups, totes and T-shirts. If you've outgrown Hallmark, these witty creations are just the thing.
Best junkyard
U-Pull-&-Pay Self-Serve Used Auto Parts
1157 Jetstream Drive
407-816-9696
www.upullandpay.com
There are so many reasons to love junkyards: keeping your car on the road cheap, recycling, the endless MacGyvering possibilities presented therein. But not all junkyards are created equal; most keep the good stuff locked away behind tall fences. Need a mass air flow sensor for your '98 Ranger? Jed will pull it for you and have it on the counter in a flash. That's boring and sterile. It's a lot more fulfilling to walk the rows of junk cars at U-Pull-&-Pay, each propped up on tireless rims for access to the underside. A $2 fee buys you entrance to a museum of fleeting happiness and material excess. Who loved that Malibu when it was shiny and new? Did that Vanagon die in the midst of an epic road trip? Do the Celica's deeply stained seats mean what you think they mean? It's heavy stuff.
Best geek parties
A Comic Shop events
114 S. Semoran Blvd.
407-332-9636
www.acomicshop.com
A crowd of people stands outside in the blazing sun, protesting the Superhero Registration Act. Why would a bunch of guys and girls (yes, girls) gather to scream about fictional legislation? Because there's a free keg afterward. From getting Jeffrey Brown to draw caricatures of partygoers to getting models to walk around dressed like Ms. Marvel, Aaron Haaland and Jason Blanchard know what geeks want, which is the same thing everyone else wants, but with tights.
Best niche vanity project
Vinyl Richie's Wiggly World of Records
2436 E. Robinson St.
407-895-0001
myspace.com/vinylrichieswigglyworld
Rich Evans and his music label, Floridas Dying, have long been purveyors of the underground, the quirky and, more often than not, the very good (they would say 'the best'). It makes sense, then, that earlier this year, Evans converted a cozy little house into a cozy little record store, stocked with bin after bin of bands that he likes. In fact, you can only purchase what he likes at the hilariously monikered hang. Naturally.
Best place to get chewed on by fish
Fish pedicures at the Spa
1903 N. Orange Ave.
407-898-7737
www.thespallc.com
Fans of the classic film Piranha may want to stay away from this little bit of conspicuous consumption. But for risk-takers with foot fetishes or incredibly ticklish skin, this could do just the trick. The Spa over on Antique Row offers a number of odd amenities — cupping, anyone? — but their fish manicures ($25 for 15 minutes) and pedicures ($30 for 15 minutes) present a wiggly-but-pleasant means of bypassing the Ped-Egg.
Best pageant hair for people who like gay people
Copperhead Salon
936 N. Mills Ave.
407-898-6636
www.copperheadsalon.com
After the Carrie Prejean debacle about 'opposite marriage,' it's comforting to know that some pageant queens know on which side their hair is buttered. Perky, cute brunette Sierra Minott, who is Miss Florida and placed fourth in this year's Miss America pageant, utilizes the sorta-gay (but married to a woman!) services of one Chris Martin, whose salon, Copperhead, was also featured last year on an MTV program about sci-fi geeks getting married.
Best PR for mixed martial arts
Shaq's secret training
The blood and guts of MMA training fills buckets in Orlando. But who knew that the infamous-in-this-town Shaquille O'Neal has been training here for 10 years at Jonathan Burke's Gracie Orlando studio? Shaq's not one to miss a chance to rile his Orlando naysayers, and JOCKlife.net reported in May that 'Shaq might just be planning a sparring match with none other than MMA veteran and legend Chuck Liddell.'
Best place to buy a readymade garden
Grown by Suzy and My Yard Farm Audubon Park Community Market
apmarket.wordpress.com
You want fresh produce without questionable pesticides or the carbon waste of imports, but you don't want to throw elbows at Whole Foods every Sunday afternoon. Wouldn't it be nice if someone would grow fresh vegetables for you? Well, they won't! But, next best thing: Suzy Grimm of Grown by Suzy will sell you a portable garden for $50 — organic plants in a recycled container (a cut-off 55-gallon plastic drum or the like) — something you can take with you when you move but will provide fresh herbs, lettuces, cucumbers, radishes and any other plant that tolerates a shallow bed. (Contact Suzy at [email protected].) Or Henry and Gus of My Yard Farm will transform a corner of your yard into an oasis of goodness using recycled building materials and native plants like avocados, key limes, collards and pomelo. (Visit www.myyardfarm.com
for estimates.)
Best Adult Entertainment Store
1st: Fairvilla Megastore, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail , 407-425-6005, www.fairvilla.com
2nd: Premier Adult Factory Outlet, 5009 S. Orange Blossom Trail , 407-982-2623, www.premieradultfactoryoutlet.com
3rd (tie): Erotic Emporium, 1520 S. U.S. Highway 17-92, Longwood, 407-332-0545
3rd (tie): Avant Guard II Dress & Lingerie Boutique, 3985 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-843-1233
Best Bartender
1st: Bob Orlando, O'Shucks Pub & Billiards
2nd: Dan Dyer, Crooked Bayou
3rd: Preston Dehler, Bar-BQ-Bar
Best Bicycle Shop
1st: Orange Cycle, 2204 Edgewater Drive, 407-422-5552, www.orangecycleorlando.com
2nd: Kyle's Bike Shop, 203 N. Primrose Drive, 866-915-3957, www.kylesbikeshop.net
3rd: Loco Motion, 1776 Jake St., 407-898-6411, 1030 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-629-2680, www.locomotionbikes.com
Best Bookstore
1st: Barnes & Noble, multiple locations, www.barnesandnoble.com
2nd: Urban Think Bookstore, 625 E. Central Blvd., 407-650-8004, www.urbanthinkorlando.com
3rd: Borders, multiple locations, www.borders.com
Best CD Store
1st: Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-447-7275, www.parkavecds.com
2nd: Best Buy, multiple locations, www.bestbuy.com
3rd: F.Y.E., multiple locations, www.fye.com
Best Comic Book Store
1st: A Comic Shop, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, www.acomicshop.com
2nd: Bad Apple Comics, 8110 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-859-3422, 12225 University Blvd., 407-658-9722, www.bacomics.com
Best Dry Cleaner
1st: Hangers Cleaners, multiple locations, www.hangersorlando.com
2nd: Acme Cleaners, 600 N. Westmoreland Drive , 407-841-2301, 204 E. Ridgewood St., 407-872-1040, www.acmecleaners.com
3rd: PriceLess Cleaners, multiple locations, www.pricelesscleaners.com
Best DVD Store
1st: Stardust Video & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-339, myspace.com/stardustvideoandcoffee
2nd: Barnes & Noble, multiple locations, www.barnesandnoble.com
3rd: Blockbuster, multiple locations, www.blockbuster.com
Best Farmers Market
1st: Winter Park Farmers Market, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3397, www.cityofwinterpark.org
2nd: Orlando Farmers Market, Lake Eola Park, 195 N. Rosalind Ave. 321-202-5855, www.orlandofarmersmarket.com
3rd: Audubon Park, Community Market, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, www.audubonparkmarket.com
Best Furniture Store
1st: IKEA, 4092 Eastgate Drive, 407-355-3155, www.ikea.com
2nd: Washburn Imports 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-4403, www.washburnimports.com
3rd: Ashley Furniture Home Store, multiple locations, www.ashleyfurniture.com
Best Hair Salon
1st: Alchemy Hair Salon , 2812 Edgewater Drive, 407-650-8022, www.alchemyorlando.com
2nd: Shag'd Hair Studio, 1844 E. Winter Park Road, 407-951-8969, www.shagdhairstudio.com
3rd: Ariz-Michelle Salon, 400 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-629-9222, www.arizmichelle.com
Best Health Food Store
1st: Whole Foods Market, 1989 Aloma Ave., Winter Park 407-673-8788, 8003 Turkey Lake Road, 407-355-7100, www.wholefoodsmarket.com
2nd: Chamberlin's Market & Café, multiple locations, www.chamberlins.com
3rd: Essential Health Market, 1035 Academy Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-869-0000, www.essentialhealthmarket.com
Best Liquor Store
1st: Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553, www.totalwine.com
2nd: ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, multiple locations, www.abcfws.com
3rd: Wally's Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-6975
Best Local Fashion Designer
1st: Katie Reynolds — A Rare Bird Designs, www.ararebirddesigns.com
2nd: Consuelo Bellini, www.consuelobellini.com
3rd (tie): Steadfast Brand, www.steadfastbrand.com
3rd (tie): Reign Streetwear Boutique, 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 2, Winter Park, 407-677-4713
Best Meat
1st: Petty's Meats & Specialty Foods, 2141 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-862-0400, www.pettysmeats.com
2nd: Publix, multiple locations, www.publix.com
3rd: Whole Foods Market, 1989 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-673-8788, 8003 Turkey Lake Road, 407-355-7100, www.wholefoodsmarket.com
Best Men's Fashion
1st: Reign Streetwear Boutique, 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 2, Winter Park, 407-677-4713, www.reignfl.com
2nd: Etoile Boutique, 2436 E. Robinson St. 407-895-6363, www.etoileboutique.com
3rd: Forty VII Clothing, 150 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-412-9204, www.fortysevenclothing.com
Best Musical Instruments Store
1st: Sam Ash Music Store, 4644 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-5508, 912 Lee Road, 407-599-1222, www.samashmusic.com
2nd: Guitar Center, 12402 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-251-6659, 520 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-9119, www.guitarcenter.com
3rd: George's Music, 6817 Visitors Circle, 407-352-8000, www.georgesmusic.com
Best Nail Salon
1st: Magic Nails & Spa, 626 N. Alafaya Trail, 407-243-1918
2nd: Queens Nails, 2614 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-1707
3rd: Blush Day Spa , 9439 Forest City Cove, Altamonte Springs, 407-770-6666, www.blushdayspa.com
Best Pet Supplies
1st: PetSmart, multiple locations, www.petsmart.com
2nd: Petco, multiple locations, www.petco.com
3rd: Pookie's Pet Nutrition & Bow Wow Bakery, 1980 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-7387, 2462 Maguire Road, Ocoee, 407-877-8666, www.pookiesbowwowbakery.com
Best Scooters
1st: Vespa Orlando, 930 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-2222, www.vespaorlando.com
2nd: 2 Trax Scooter Shop, 127 N. Magnolia Ave., 407-423-8729, 221 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-260-8729, www.2traxscooter.com
3rd (tie): Scooter Trap, 617 Virginia Drive, 407-896-0016, www.scootertrap.com
3rd (tie): Mod City Scooters, (closed)
Best Seafood Store
1st: Lombardi's Marketplace, 1152 Harmon Ave., Winter Park 407-628-3474, www.lombardismarketplace.com
2nd: Whole Foods Market, 1989 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-673-8788, 8003 Turkey Lake Road, 407-355-7100, www.wholefoodsmarket.com
3rd: Publix, multiple locations, www.publix.com
Best Shoe Store
1st: DSW Shoes, multiple locations, www.dsw.com
2nd: Beta Retail Gallery, 2432 E. Robinson St., 407-228-1995, www.thebetapress.com
3rd: Payless ShoeSource, multiple locations, www.payless.com
Best Skate/Surf Shop
1st: Covert Skate Shop, 2428 E. Robinson St., 407-228-0804, www.covertskate.com
2nd: Galactic G Skate Shop, 334 E. Harvard St, .407-895-0410, www.galacticg.com
3rd: Ron Jon Surf Shop, 5160 International Drive, 407-481-2555, www.ronjons.com
Best Smoke Shop
1st: Katmandu, 352 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-647-7071
2nd: 23 S. Court Ave., 407-316-0026
3rd (tie): Pipe Dreams, multiple locations, www.pipedreamstwo.com
3rd (tie): Mystik, 10014 University Blvd., 407-681-8300, www.mystik.com
Best Spa
1st: The Ritz-Carlton Spa, 4012 Central Florida Parkway, 407-393-4200, www.ritzcarlton.com
2nd: The Spa LLC, 1903 N. Orange Ave., 407-898-7737, www.thespallc.com
3rd: Euro Day Spa & Salon, 800 Formosa Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-0444, www.eurodayspa.net
Best Tanning Salon
1st: South Beach Tanning Company, multiple locations, www.southbeachtanningcompany.com
2nd: Manhattan Tanning Company, 653 Maguire Blvd., Suite 800, 407-898-5775, www.manhattantanningcompany.com
3rd: Planet Beach, multiple locations
Best Tattoo/ Piercing Parlor
1st: Ascension Custom Dermagraphics, 2510 N. Orange Ave., 407-898-2013, 114 Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 321-972-8930, www.ascensiontattoo.com
2nd: Black Chapel Tattoo Studio, 693 N. Orange Ave., 407-420-9636, myspace.com/blackchapeltattoostudios
3rd: Inkredible Ink, 1 S. Orange Ave., 407-843-3666, 7215 International Drive, 407-370-3101, www.inkredibleink.com
Best Thrift Store
1st: Goodwill, multiple locations, www.goodwill.org
2nd: Thriftko, 1442 State Road 436, Casselberry, 407-657-0082
3rd: Dechoes Resale Emporium, multiple locations, www.dechoes.shoprw.com
Best T-shirts
1st: Mother Falcon Clothing, 888 E. Washington St., 407-423-3060, www.motherfalconclothing.com
2nd: Reign Streetwear Boutique, 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 2, Winter Park, 407-677-4713, www.reignfl.com
3rd: Static, 240 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-478-1083, www.shopstatic.com
Best Veterinarian
1st: Loch Haven Veterinary Hospital, 2000 N. Mills Ave., 407-896-0941, www.lochhavenvet.com
2nd: McAbee Veterinary Hospital, 4586 Palmetto Ave., Winter Park, 407-671-5858, www.mcabeevet.com
3rd: Downtown Pet Hospital, 110 Weber St., 407-872-2228, www.downtownpethospital.com
Best Video Game Store
1st: Game Stop & EB Games, multiple locations, www.gamestop.com
2nd: Play & Trade, multiple locations, www.playntrade.com
3rd: S & F Video Games, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-539-1044, myspace.com/vintagegames
Best Vintage Clothing Store
1st: Etoile Boutique, 2436 E. Robinson St. 407-895-6363, www.etoileboutique.com
2nd: Dechoes Resale Emporium, multiple locations, www.dechoes.shoprw.com
3rd: Orlando Vintage Clothing Co., 2117 W. Fairbanks Ave. Winter Park, 407-599-7225, www.orlandovintage.com
Best Vinyl Records Store
1st: Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-447-7275, www.parkavecds.com
2nd: Rock & Roll Heaven, 1814 N. Orange Ave. 407-896-1952, www.rock-n-rollheaven.com
3rd: The Drop Shop, 2422 E. Robinson St. 407-839-6050, www.dropshop.com
Best Wine Shop
1st: Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553, www.totalwine.com
2nd: Tim's Wine Market, 1223 N. Orange Ave., 407-895-9463, 428 Main St., Windermere, 407-876-9463, www.timswine.com
3rd: Eola Wine Company, 500 E. Central Blvd., 407-481-9100, 136 S. Park Ave. Winter Park, 407-647-9103, www.eolawinecompany.com
Best Women's Fashion
1st: Etoile Boutique, 2436 E. Robinson St. 407-895-6363, www.etoileboutique.com
2nd: Reign Streetwear Boutique, 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 2, Winter Park, 407-677-4713, www.reignfl.com
3rd: Sunset Strip Clothing, 1198 Orange Ave, Winter Park, 407-248-0800, www.sunsetstripclothing.com
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Best collapsing house of cards
The Dr. P. Phillips Orlando Performing Arts Center
www.orlandopac.org
It's not DPAC's fault. They didn't create a cockamamie funding scheme for the half-billion-dollar edifice by assuming that property values would escalate forever, and that tourists would keep coming, and that the stock market wouldn't tank and take with it wealthy donors' gifts. That was the city's doing. One economic collapse later, the flag that DPAC waved announcing its 2012 opening has come down, and nobody thinks the arts center will be a reality anytime soon. But it served the mayor's political purpose — the $480 million Orlando Magic arena is right on schedule.
Best local politician on the national stage
Alan Grayson
www.graysonforcongress.com
Building on his Vanity Fair profile, the Congressman From YouTube has become a politico player; even Rep. Barney Frank has taken a shine to him, having allegedly remarked on his trademark flashy pinstriped suit in a congressional corridor: 'Guys and Dolls in town?' Why is he awesome? No. 1: He was the very first freshman legislator to pass a bill this term, and his was a doozy: It lets the treasury secretary limit executive salaries and bonuses at financial institutions we bailed out. No. 2: He took a bashing on Neil Cavuto's Fox Business show for said bill, even though he didn't have to go on at all; guy's got balls. No. 3: His latest bill would require employers with more than 100 employees to provide at least one paid week of vacation per year for full-timers, a protection 140-plus other countries guarantee but the U.S. lacks.
Best scandal
Pay-for-play at the Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority
www.expresswayauthority.com
On Feb. 27, an unsealed grand jury report exposed the disgusting sore that the Orlando-Orange County Expressway Authority had become: Members had essentially shaken down contractors to funnel money to politicians they liked (hello, Rich Crotty). And somehow, nobody went to jail. To make matters worse, the day before the report's publication, the Authority raised tolls.
Best entrepreneur
Joshua Witter
www.postrapturepost.com
If there's a sucker born every minute, there's also someone born ready to exploit them. Sometimes, this exploitation is sinister; for instance, swindling old people out of their life savings. Other times it's funny. Case in point: Orlando man Joshua Witter, proprietor of Post-Rapture Post: The Postal Service of the Saved. Witter, an atheist, has struck a deal with the faithful. If the Lord Jesus Christ returns in his lifetime, Witter will, for a reasonable fee — $5 to $10, mostly, though there's a jaw-dropping $799 'hand-scribed on parchment' offering — deliver messages to their undeparted family members. As of May, at least 70 people had taken him up on his offer. As one buyer explains in a web testimonial, 'It's such a small price to pay, especially when you think of those who will be left behind and need counsel after the Rapture.'
Best dumb lawyering
Griffith J. Winthrop III
407-210-2796
www.aswmpa.com
One the one hand, it's easy to empathize with Griffith J. Winthrop III. The lawyer represented Orlando police chief Val Demings in an impossible situation — Demings' demand that City Hall critic Easy Harris take down www.valdemings.com, a website that mildly mocks her. But when Winthrop told the Sentinel in April that 'truth is not always a defense [for libel],' and recommended that Harris 'get â?¦ himself a really good lawyer,' that empathy went out the window. As First Amendment lawyer Marc Randazza promptly pointed out, defamation cases in Florida require first and foremost a 'false statement of fact.' As of this writing, www.valdemings.com is still up and running.
Best warriors for Jesus
Torukukai Aikijitsu
159 E. Jackson St.
407-704-7851
www.aikijitsu.com
When Jesus said, 'No man cometh unto the Father, but by me,' he forgot to mention his army of samurais. Orlando karate instructor Sensei Joe Morejon founded the art of Torukukai Aikijitsu, which replaces those pesky, millennia-old Eastern values of the martial arts with good ol' American Christianity. 'Torukukai Samurai put on the full armor of God,' their website barks at the Daniel LaRussos of the world. Price ranges ($59-$89 a month) are reasonable compared to other schools. How Christ-like!
Best local color
RV Studios
630 W. Central Blvd.
407-929-4161
Like a pop-art phoenix rising from the ashes of the 1980s NYC graffiti movement, Robin Van Arsdol has resurrected his art legacy and made it relevant to time and place. The exteriors of the three warehouses in RV's Parramore complex have become canvases for local graffiti writers — a veritable graffiti sanctuary — with events to create and celebrate the expressions and the lifestyle behind it. This is the year for Orlando street art to explode, and RV's the fertilizer.
Best research foundation
American Nudist Research Library
2950 Sun Cove Drive, Kissimmee
407-933-2866
www.anrl.org
Because the only way to improve public nudity is to combine it with the fun of a term paper. Founded in 1979, the ANRL was created 'to preserve the history of the social nudist movement in North America and throughout the world.' Their efforts allow visitors to learn that naked people have been documented in publications not put out by Bob Guccione. Makes Playalinda Beach seem a little noble, doesn't it?
Best display of vanity
Daisy Lynum
www.cityoforlando.net/elected/council/lynum.htm
City commissioner Daisy Lynum is not controversial, and saying otherwise is not only wrong, but racist, as well as infuriating to her loyal constituents, as Lynum herself will tell you: 'Your description of me as controversial is an inaccurate and negative label of me which I do not appreciate or accept,' she wrote on May 8 to Orlando Sentinel reporter Mark Schlueb after he wrote about her 2010 re-election campaign.
Best holy petting zoo
Live Nativity scene
Central Christian Church
250 Ivanhoe Blvd.
407-425-6611
www.cccorlando.org
Every year at Christmas, the Central Christian Church (aka the drive-in church next to I-4) goes whole hog with a living crèche featuring not just a real live holy family and three actual wise men, but also two donkeys, a miniature goat and at least one sheep! For Orlando kids accustomed to a certain level of showmanship just standing on line at the theme parks, it may be corny, but if you can sneak a set of ears onto the sheep you might be able to convince the younger ones they're at Disney. OK, maybe not. (And don't miss Easter Week, when CCC stages multiple scenes from Christ's life, including — ick — a crucifixion on the shores of Lake Ivanhoe.)
Best local member of the American Taliban
Mat Staver
Liberty Counsel
www.lc.org
If there's a Christian somewhere who isn't getting preferential treatment, or has been reminded of the wall in this country separating church and state, it's Mat Staver to the rescue! Maybe there's a gay person who wants to adopt a child, or a gay couple who want to live in dignity. Not on Mighty Mat's watch! With a Bible in one hand and a copy of the Florida statutes in the other, Staver is on a singular crusade for 'religious freedom.' It's odd how that phrase always seems to translate into litigation on behalf of right-wing Christians — never Muslims, Jews, Buddhists or Hindus — but never mind. The law is the law, and it must be applied fairly â?¦ for right-wing Christians, anyway.
Best local mountain
Orange County Landfill
5901 Young Pine Road
407-836-6600
Central Florida, in case you haven't noticed, is short on alpine experiences. But there is one summit you can tackle that will challenge the limits of man and machine: the garbage mountain at the Orange County Landfill. Unfortunately, you can't just drive up there for the fun of it. (And it is fun, switchbacks, muddy ruts and all. You won't need four-wheel drive, but it would help.) You have to be discarding something that doesn't belong in the other sections of this sprawling facility. But if you have a bunch of old household refuse you want to heave, you've got a ticket to the top. Pause while you are up there to take in the astonishing views — and smells.
Best comment on running over cyclists
Kristen Schaal
April 8 at UCF Arena
www.myspace.com/kristenschaal
Comedian Kristen Schaal (aka kooky fan Mel on HBO's The Flight of the Conchords) localized her opening banter at UCF Arena with sideways praise about Orlando's cleanliness and magical-ness. As she tells it, she was so high on the City Beautiful that when she ran over a bike rider, she couldn't stop at the scene because she 'just didn't want to see that.' It ruins the scenery.
Best guilt trip on wheels
First Baptist Church of Winter Park Sidewalk Sunday School
www.fbcwp.org/missions.html
It's Saturday afternoon. You crack open a cold one and slide your godless palm under your belt, Al Bundy'style. Suddenly, you hear a gaggle of doe-eyed children accusatorily singing 'He's Got the Whole World in His Hands.' A cruel joke from the big guy? No, it's First Baptist Church of Winter Park, a Ned Flanders-on-wheels bus church that takes particular joy in parking outside a certain Weekly writer's apartment. You have to admire portable guilt trips.
Best ugly living room to hang out in
Little Fish Huge Pond
309 E. First St., Sanford
www.littlefish-hugepond.com
Here's a list of art shows that have run at this tiny downtown Sanford pub: Facebooked. Graphic Content. Stories From the Cocktail Napkin. ?Velveeta!? Are you beginning to get the picture? Mo Wisdom decorates her bar like a tacky, blind trailer-park denizen. Yet somehow, paintings of sphincters and plastic dinosaurs go just swimmingly with a hookah and one of Mo's homemade vanilla-chili beers. You'll see.
Best singing newscaster
Evrod Cassimy, Central Florida News 13
www.everythingevrod.com
Oh, yeah. You feel that? It's the scintillating sound of silky-voiced Evrod Cassimy, his melodic cadence setting the mood just right â?¦ if the mood you're looking for concerns safety tips for Halloween. Since last year, Cassimy has been Central Florida News 13's baby-faced general assignment reporter, but did you know in his free time he's an up-and-coming Ne-Yo? He's recorded four songs so far, but more importantly, he sells autographed glossy photos of himself for $3.99 a pop.
Best ongoing gay feud
Patty Sheehan versus Michael Wanzie
Way back in the day of gay gossip delivered via cups connected by strings, somebody said something to someone that no one can be quite sure about and all hell broke loose. Local loud-mouthed raconteur Michael Wanzie and local lesbian city commissioner Patty Sheehan soon became the Hatfield and McCoy of Orlando queer politics, with public screaming-match flare-ups at Easter Bonnet benefits and the like. At last November's Watermark awards ceremony at Hamburger Mary's, the deep-fried macaroni-and-cheese balls hit the fan over Wanzie's denunciation of religion (he was dressed in papal garb at the time) vis-à-vis Sheehan's partially Catholic entourage. The issue this time was the failed battle against Amendment 2, but the pure drama runs wonderfully deeper.
Best Facebook politician
Linda Stewart
Wonder what rambunctious Orange county commissioner and now mayoral candidate Linda Stewart is up to? Look no further than the multiple daily status updates on her Facebook page (where she's wearing a visor and riding a bike!). Sure, the Obama victory taught us all a thing or two about social networking, but Stewart — who used to be limited to occasional
e-mails about just how great she was doing, usually on 'green' things — has become an Internet ubiquity. And to hear her tell it, everything — including last night's dinner — is great!
Best local charitable group
1st: Food Not Bombs, www.orlandofoodnotbombs.org
2nd: Rock for Hunger, www.rockforhunger.org
3rd: Coalition for the Homeless, www.coalitionforthehomeless.org
Best local website
1st: Orlando Weekly, www.orlandoweekly.com
2nd: Orlando Sentinel, www.orlandosentinel.com
3rd: Metromix, orlando.metromix.com
Best local TV newsperson
1st: Bob Opsahl, WFTV Channel 9
2nd: Jacqueline London, WKMG Channel 6
3rd: Martha Sugalski, WESH Channel 2
Best local big shot
1st: Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
2nd: Aaron Haaland, A Comic Shop
3rd: Tiger Woods
Best local blog
1st: The Daily City, www.thedailycity.com
2nd: Defame Orlando (defunct), defameorlando.blogspot.com
3rd: Taking Names, blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_local_namesblog/
Best local politician
1st: State Rep. Scott Randolph
2nd: Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer
3rd: Commissioner Patty Sheehan
Best local radio personality
1st: Jim Phillips, Real Radio 104.1-FM
2nd: Soul Brother Kevin, Real Radio 104.1-FM
3rd: Talk Nerdy to Me, WPRK 91.5-FM
Best local writer
1st: Billy Manes, Orlando Weekly
2nd: Scott Maxwell, Orlando Sentinel
3rd: Mike Thomas, Orlando Sentinel
Best place to take visitors from out of town
1st: Walt Disney World, disneyworld.disney.go.com
2nd: Universal CityWalk, www.universalorlando.com/citywalk.html
3rd: SeaWorld Orlando, www.seaworld.com/orlando
Best local politician in need of a slap upside the head
1st: Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer
2nd: Commissioner Daisy Lynum
3rd: Orange County Mayor Richard Crotty
Best reason to live in Orlando
1st: The weather
2nd (tie): Walt Disney World
2nd (tie): A Comic Shop, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-332-9636, www.acomicshop.com
3rd: The nightlife
Best reason to leave Orlando
1st: The weather
2nd: Crime
3rd: Walt Disney World
Best TV news hair
1st: Martha Sugalski, WESH Channel 2
2nd: Bob Opsahl, WFTV Channel 9
3rd: Martie Salt, WFTV Channel 9
Best whatever
1st: Hard Knocks 5707 Dot Com Court, Suite 1025, Oviedo, 407-359-9091, www.hardknocksorlando.com
2nd: Reign Streetwear Boutique, 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 2, Winter Park, 407-677-4713, www.reignfl.com
3rd: SAK Comedy Lab, 380 W. Amelia St. 407-648-0001, www.sak.com
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Best free bike tuneup
Rusted Chain Bike Collective
rustedchainbikecollective.blogspot.com
The RCBC 'promote[s] interdependency through cycling, encourage[s] movement towards environmental sustainability, and foster[s] local unity.' Yes, they'll fix your bike for free (donations encouraged, however), but what they really want is to empower you to learn how to fix your own bike. They're looking for a dedicated space, but for the moment you can find them Wednesday evenings at the Audubon Park Community Market (apmarket. wordpress.com).
Best cheap place to get wet
Splash Park and Playground
Lake Mary Sports Complex
550 Rantoul Lane, Lake Mary
407-324-3065
www.lakemaryfl.com/splashpark.cfm
Keeping kids happy is easier than most people think: When it comes to summer days, it all boils down to point and shoot with water. The problem with that formula, at least here in theme-park central, is the exorbitant cost that comes with an aquatic afternoon. The good folks in Lake Mary have solved that issue with their splash park, which is exactly what it sounds like ' streaming fountains of water aimed downward for $2 per person (open April through September).
Best place to camp
Moss Park
12901 Moss Park Road
407-254-6840
www.orangecountyfl.net
Orange County's largest park is also one of its coolest. Moss Park is 1,500 acres of land between lakes Mary Jane and Hart in southwest Orange County. You'll find beautiful live oaks, a beach, hiking trails and plenty of spots to set up a tent. You'll also find some small measure of solitude, which is getting kind of rare in these parts.
Best fool-me-twice
Xtreme Football League
www.ufl-football.com
Like a hot city's fat friend, Orlando has long been desperate to fill its gaping eyesore (the Citrus Bowl) with something — anything ' that promises to stay for a little while and tell us we're pretty. For a sad moment in 2001, the Xtreme Football League (the Orlando Rage!) used us. Now we're ready to open our Bowl again, this time to the AOL-funded United Football League. Michael Vick's name has been floated as quarterback. What could go wrong?
Best bureaucratic idiocy
Fleet Peeples Park
2000 S. Lakemont Ave., Winter Park
407-599-3334
www.ffpp.org
Here's an idea: If you don't like dogs, avoid dog parks. Apparently, this is too egalitarian for some of Winter Park's snobbier residents, who over the last year launched complaints about the popular (and perennial Best of Orlando readers' poll winner) Fleet Peeples Park because the dogs were taking up their precious real estate on Lake Baldwin. In February, an alternate on the city's parks commission took up their cause, pushing that board to enforce rules that essentially forbid dog owners from letting their mutts off-leash on weekends. Fortunately, at a meeting in early June, the parks board backed off of some of the crazier ideas. The park is still free, and available to off-leash dogs on weekdays and weekends before 10 a.m. and after 4 p.m. So go enjoy it, before some other Park Avenue fancypants decides that your dog doesn't belong in their park.
Best quizzically named sporting event
I Believe in Wrestling
www.ibelieveinwrestling.com
What's not to believe? The rings at the Downtown Recreation Center take every ounce of doled-out punishment the Amway gets when WWE rolls through town. Former world champion Larry 'the Living Legend' Zbyszko and Chasyn Rance take their students from the FIP/Believe/Riot training center to the next level: costumed man-crush drama. So who out there is doubting this is the sort of thing O-Town is into?
Best thing to look forward to next year
Orlando Predators
www.orlandopredators.com
In 2008, the Arena Football League showed more foresight about the economic collapse than any other industry and announced it would suspend the 2009 season. Watching a receiver catch a pass three rows deep in the audience is sadly low on the discretionary income priorities tree. But the AFL is looking to put coach Jay Gruden and your Orlando Predators back on the half-field next February. Two years is too long not to catch a T-shirt from a cannon.
Best place to throw your back out
Lebron's Baseball Depot
5850 Edgewater Drive
407-290-0045
At 20 balls for $2, there's almost no cheaper place to do yourself an injury; just step under the giant 'Batter's Up!' bat and belly up to the snack bar to purchase tokens. Lebron's batting cages are endearingly ramshackle, with a big clanking pitch machine in the center looking like a steel octopus under a netting tarp and a picnic table full of kids scarfing Fritos. Scuffling teenagers swing hard next to dads lecturing Little League daughters on follow-through. But please, if you're over 30, stretch first.
Best rolling roadblock
Orlando Critical Mass
myspace.com/massfororlando
As in cities around the United States, the Critical Mass ride serves as a reminder of the growing number of bicycle riders sharing the roads. The display of solidarity departs from Loch Haven Park at 5:30 p.m. on the last Friday of the month, and 250-plus rebellious teens, young families, girls with pink baskets and easy riders come together to play nice in the streets. Traffic is corked off at intersections for safe crossings, which isn't always appreciated by honking drivers ready to start the weekend.
Best place to skate for Jesus
Saturday Christian Skates (canceled)
Semoran Skateway
2670 Cassel Creek Blvd., Casselberry
407-834-9095
www.semoranskateway.com
Remember when roller-skating was a filthy affair featuring middle-parted girlfights over who gave whom a blow job in the bathroom? Well, at this (sadly, now defunct) event you were more than welcome to shuffle your best mobile flirtatious come-on, only you got to do it to the likes of DC Talk and Michael W. Smith. You know, if Jesus had roller skates, he would have been that much more awesome.
Best place to have sex in the middle of a lake
The weird wooded island in Lake Holden
For those fortunate enough to have proper water sports hardware — boats, you dirty minds — Lake Holden, just south of downtown Orlando, is a fantastic place to shirtlessly impress your neighbors with your upside-down wakeboarding skills. But the lake's real hidden gem lies in its center, an unpopulated island of brush and bad intentions. Blocked from view of the luxurious estates lining at least half the lake (Hello, Holden Heights!), this little sanctuary, complete with waterlogged mattress, looks like a place where teenage girls get pregnant and crabs — not the edible kind — find new, hairy homes.
Best dick move
Florida GOP versus Florida Forever
These are tough times, so when the Republicans who dominate the Legislature start cutting back, you'd expect the $12.3 million appropriation for the sensitive-land-buying program, the Florida Forever Coalition, to be among the first to go. But when lawmakers closed a tax loophole that could have funded FF, the House GOP refused. Why? The Senate declined to go along with their plan for offshore oil drilling. So the House took their ball and went home. Thanks, guys.
Best City Park
1st: Lake Eola Park, www.cityoforlando.net
2nd: Central Park, www.cityofwinterpark.org
3rd: Blue Jacket Park, www.cityoforlando.net
Best Dog Park
1st: Fleet Peeples Park, www.cityofwinterpark.org
2nd: Paw Park, www.pawparksanford.org
3rd: Barber Dog Park
Best Local Sports Team
1st: Orlando Magic, www.nba.com/magic
2nd: UCF Football, www.ucfathletics.com
3rd: Orlando Predators, www.orlandopredators.com
Best Miniature Golf Course
1st: Congo River Golf , multiple locations, www.congoriver.com
2nd: Pirate's Cove Adventure Golf, 8501 International Drive , 407-352-7378, 12545 State Road 535, Lake Buena Vista, 407-827-1242, www.piratescove.net
3rd: Fantasia Gardens Miniature Golf Course, ?1675 N. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-939-4636, disneyworld.disney.go.com/recreation/miniature-golf
Best Place to Bowl
1st: Colonial Lanes 400 N. Primrose Drive, 407-894-0361, www.coloniallanes.net
2nd: Aloma Bowl, 2530 Aloma Ave., Winter Park, 407-671-8675, www.alomabowlingcenters.com
3rd: Boardwalk Bowl, 10749 E. Colonial Drive, 407-384-0003, www.alomabowlingcenters.com
Best Place to Camp
1st: Wekiwa Springs State Park, 1800 Wekiwa Circle, Apopka, 407-884-2008, www.floridastateparks.org/wekiwasprings
2nd: Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort, 4510 N. Fort Wilderness Trail, Lake Buena Vista, 407-824-2900, disneyworld.disney.go.com/resorts/campsites-at-fort-wilderness-resort
3rd: Ocala National Forest, 904-942-9300, www.stateparks.com/ocala.html
Best Place to Work Out
1st: L.A. Fitness, multiple locations, www.lafitness.com
2nd: YMCA, multiple locations, www.ymca.net
3rd: Planet Fitness, multiple locations, www.planetfitness.com
Best Pool Hall
1st: Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, www.sportstownbilliards.com
2nd: Trick Shots Billiards, multiple locations, www.trickshotsbilliards.com
3rd: Backstage Billiards, multiple locations
Best Public Golf Course
1st: Dubsdread Golf Course, 549 W. Par St., 407-246-2551, www.historicaldubsdread.com
2nd: Winter Park Country Club, 761 Old England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3339, www.winterparkcountryclub.com
3rd: MetroWest Golf Club, 2100 S. Hiawassee Road, 407-299-1099, www.metrowestgolf.com
Best River to Canoe/Kayak
1st: Wekiwa Springs State Park, 1800 Wekiwa Circle, Apopka, 407-884-2008, www.floridastateparks.org/wekiwasprings
2nd: Econlockhatchee River Canoe Trail, www.dep.state.fl.us
3rd: St. Johns River
Best Shooting Range
1st: Shoot Straight, 1349 S. Orange Blossom Trail, Apopka, 407-889-0842, 4700 S. U.S. Highway 17-92, Casselberry, 407-834-2242, www.shootstraightonline.com
2nd: East Orange Shooting Sports, 7210 Gardner St., Winter Park, 407-679-1995, www.eastorangess.com
3rd: Oak Ridge Gun Range, 6160 S. Orange Ave., 407-857-5663, www.oakridgegunrange.com
Best Skateboard Park
1st: Vans Skatepark, 5220 International Drive, 407-351-3881, www.vans.com/vans/skateparks.asp
2nd: Mesh Skatepark, 881 W. Warren Ave., Longwood, 407-657-2002, www.meshskatepark.com
3rd: Orlando Skate Park, 400 Festival Way, 407-898-9600, www.actionparkalliance.com/orlandoskatepark
Best Theme Park Ride
1st: The Incredible Hulk Coaster, www.universalorlando.com
2nd: Manta, www.seaworld.com/orlando
3rd: Dueling Dragons, www.universalorlando.com
Best Theme Park
1st: Universal Islands of Adventures, www.universalorlando.com
2nd: Disney's Magic Kingdom, disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/magic-kingdom
3rd: SeaWorld Orlando, www.seaworld.com/orlando
Best Water Park
1st: Wet 'n Wild, www.wetnwild.com
2nd: Aquatica, www.aquaticabyseaworld.com
3rd: Typhoon Lagoon, disneyworld.disney.go.com/parks/typhoon-lagoon
Best Yoga Studio
1st: College Park Yoga, 706 W. Smith St., 407-999-7871, www.collegeparkyoga.com
2nd: Shine On Yoga, 619 N. Thornton Ave., 407-963-1956, www.shineonyoga.com
3rd: Bikram Yoga Orlando 3218-B E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-2530, www.bikramorlando.com
Time once again for you to tell us the good, the bad and the ugly about life in the City Beautiful. As with all things these days, there are a few rules you are going to have to follow if you want your vote to count:
- You must include your name and address along with a phone number and/or e-mail address where you can be reached. This is for verification only and the information won't be shared. Everyone who correctly fills out a ballot is eligible to win two tickets to our super fabulous Best of Orlando party. (You have to be at least 21 to attend. We like to drink.)
- You have to vote in at least 15 categories.
- You can't use the same answer in more than 5 categories.
- You can encourage people to vote for you.
- You can link to the poll on your web site.
- You can't fill out polls in other people's names.
- You can't print out this poll and mail it to us. Online voting only.
- You can't vote more than once. Votes with the same name from different computers will be trashed, as will multiple votes from the same computer.
- Remember, the interns who tally this poll cry when you cheat.
Voting closes at midnight, June 18. Start typing.